Category: Dissatisfied post!

A Brick in the Hand is Worth Two in the Trunk

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!, Flash Fiction, Writing1 Comment

Author’s Note: I humbly submit July’s edition of  Cait Gordon’s 2020 Flash Fiction Challenge, featuring a car dealership as this month’s setting, the object is a brick, and the genre is an epistolary fiction – all in 1000 words. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Richard Randall
Executive Sales Specialist
Vroom-Vroom Cars
Santa-Clara, California

May 17, 1977

Dear Ms. Westbrook,

Thank you for your visit yesterday at our dealership. I am sure you would agree that the slick and sexy Mamba-2000 sport-convertible you took for a test drive yesterday is the most unique experience one can drive this side of the ocean. 

I enjoyed making your acquaintance and look forward to following up with you in person about your decision to acquire one. If I do say so myself, the car is perfect for someone of your stature. Please remember, if you pay cash, we will throw in a wood-panelled dash, spoilers, and an elite stereo system at no extra charge.

By the way, you left behind the promotional brick we give free to everyone who takes one of our cars out for a test drive. I am glad you wrote your address on it so I can reach you. Please feel free to come by anytime to claim it. It would be a delight to see you again.

Warm regards,
Richard Randall

#

May 23, 1977

Dear Richard,

Thank you for the kind letter the other day. You are right. The Mamba-2000 was like no other ride I have ever experienced. My excitement heightened when I first touched the velvety steering wheel, and my hands trembled when I inserted the key into the ignition. The soft purr of the motor made me gasp in delight.

Unlike my current Suburban-AF, it responded to my every command. It felt like it knew where I wanted to go without my having to tell it. 

I almost lost control when the car hurtled itself on the open road after I kicked down into a higher gear, but the steering hugged the corners so tight, I knew I was driving something special.  The vibrations of the chassis reeked of high-quality engineering , and the smooth acceleration surprised me for such a small car. 

Pity I could not make a commitment to purchase on the spot. I grieved handing the keys over to you. I despised returning to my Suburban-AF. It is such a depressing vehicle. In fact, the old dilapidated clunker conked out after I filled it with gas last night.  

Would I be able to get a good price if I traded in that horrible excuse of a car? 

And thanks. I was wondering where I left that brick. I looked forward to putting a bow on it and making it my new dashboard mascot. Will you hold on to it for me until I return?

Sincerely
Samantha Westbrook

#

May 30, 1977

Dear Ms. Westbrook,

As I have not seen you in a while, I am sending a follow-up letter from the one I sent a couple of weeks ago. I regret to say, that we had an incident at the Vroom-Vroom dealership. 

If you have not heard on the news, a man showed up at the dealership looking to buy a Suburban-FTW. (It is an upgrade of your current station-wagon.) After he took it for a test drive, he made an offer and demanded a promotional brick.

We had long since run out, but he saw the one I held for you. Despite my protests, he snatched it. He said some rather uncomely things and threw it through the windshield of a Mamba-2000 in the display room. He then smashed the hood and the doors, denting the car severely. 

The man drove off without saying a word, leaving some pretty significant damage to the car. 

I regret to say, your brick is in pieces, and we do not have another Mamba-2000 available. If you are still interested in buying this car, we will have to put in an order for one. It might take several weeks until a new one is shipped from Europe.

Please let me know if you are still interested, and I will make all the necessary arrangements.

Regards,
Richard Randall

#

June 4, 1977

Dear Richard,

My poor brick! I had intended to visit the dealership last week to reclaim him and put an offer on the Mamba-2000. Before I could, however, my husband drove up in a secondhand Suburban-WTF. 

He presented it for an anniversary gift. I hated it! It’s bad enough I live in the suburbs and drive around in a box on wheels like everyone else. Let him drive it! I want my coupe! I should have gotten my brick. I’d have put it through the windshield of that pathetic station-wagon.

In fact, I despise it so much, why don’t you order me the Mamba now? I would give anything to dump this Suburban boat and ride that wonderfully euphoric car.

Sincerely,
Samantha Westbrook

#

July 8, 1977

Dear Ms. Westbrook,

I am delighted to announce that your car has arrived this morning, awaiting for you to pick it up. It came in a week earlier than anticipated. 

Due to your inconvenience, we will paste racing stripes on the door, free of charge. Unfortunately, we no longer have the free brick promotion, but I still have your original brick (in pieces) which you have yet to claim. Given that our current promotion involves small rocks, your brick can qualify instead.

Warm regards,
Richard Randall

#

July 15, 1977

Dear Richard,

Thank you for all your help over the past several weeks. I squealed in delight when I jumped in my Mamba-2000. You were so right about selecting a manual transition. Driving with a gear shift brings me feel “one-with-the-machine.” It truly is my car.

I am going to tell all my girlfriends about the wonderful service at Vroom-Vroom, and to go and see you about buying a Mamba-2000 for themselves. They will never go back to those pathetic Suburbans again.

Warm regards,
Samantha

P.S. You can imagine my surprise when I found the bonus two bricks in the trunk! I know the promotion is long over, but they were put to good use. The Suburban-WTF is no more, and I look forward to many adventures in my Mamba-2000 for many a year.

A Brick in the Hand is Worth Two in the Trunk © 2020 Bruce Gordon. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles and reviews. For more information, contact Bruce Gordon.

Viking Siege

Viking Siege

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!, Flash Fiction, Writing3 Comments

Author’s Note: I humbly submit June’s edition of  Cait Gordon’s 2020 Flash Fiction Challenge, featuring Parliament Hill as this month’s setting, the object is a pill bottle, and the genre is historical fiction – all in 1000 words. Thanks for reading and enjoy! Note: The city of Ottawa was founded as Bytown in the 1820s. Parliament Hill didn’t exist then as it is today, but the Barrack Hill Base did in its place.

Harold stood at the ship’s bow staring over the open water.  The wooden dragon head, attached to the front, bobbed up and down in the rolls of the waves, and the rhythmic splashes of the oarsman echoed behind. The westward trek up the Ottawa River had been exhausting. With wind directly to their front, they couldn’t rely on their sail.

Harold’s long flowing beard and braided pig tails blew astern. At least his horned helmet stayed on his head. Content on his first journey, he dipped his fingers in a small leather purse attached to his belt and retrieved a small bottle, stopped by a cork. “Adrenal Nucleoprotein Tablets, take two a day.” 

“Not sure what Colonel By will use them for. Too bad Doctor Smith came down with the clap. He would’ve loved the trip.” thought Harold.

A fortress on a hilltop signaled their arrival in Bytown.  Harold bounded to the stern.

“Magnus,” he barked, “we’re within a league of Barrack Hill. Reduce speed for docking.”

Like Harold, Magnus wore a horned helmet and heavy furs, and yelled the order to the crew. The longboat slowed.

Bang! 

Sploosh!

“What on…” yelled Harold. ”They fired a cannon at us!”

“There’s the entrance to the new canal,” Magnus replied. “It should shelter us from the fortress’ cannons. Crew, full speed ahead.”

Cannonballs rained on either side of the vessel.

“Magnus, know what these are for?” He showed him the pill bottle.

“Why should I care now? We’re in the heat of battle! Oarsmen! FASTER, like your life depended on it.”

After a tense minute, Magnus turned the helm hard to port and the crew slowed the ship gracefully into the inlet. Harold had never seen anything like it, but in the distance steps of the lock appeared that would take his ship down the canal. They needed to come to a dead stop because the lock-master had to lower their ship and open the gates to continue them their journey. He wasn’t around.

“Why did they shoot at us?” asked Harold. 

Magnus hopped off the boat with rope in hand and tied the ship down to a cleat and ran to the front. A crewman tossed him a line and he repeated the process before returning.

“Maybe it was a mistake?” said Harold.

“They must’ve thought we were Americans attacking them,” said Magnus.

“Do we look like Americans?” said Harold pointing to his horned helmet. “Besides, the doctor told me he alerted Colonel By of our arrival.“ 

A bugle sounded from the top of Barrack Hill and a garrison stormed out of the fortress.

Magnus grabbed a two-handed axe. “Ha-ha! We’re in for it now! I’ve been waiting for this moment for nearly a year!”

“What?”  said Harold. “When I signed up to join the North American Nordic Society last week, I didn’t think I’d be risking my life!”

“You’re not serious? We live for this stuff! A big part of what we do is historical re-enactments. Look at the men! They’re all primed and ready to go!” The crew had grabbed their axes. “Man, Doctor Smith must be regretting missing this! First one he’s missed in years!”

The crew charged off the ship and ran towards their assailants on the hill. Their blood curdling screams made Harold’s hair stand stiff on the back of his neck.

“Praise be to Odin!” Before Harold could reply back, Magnus leapt off the boat to join the others. 

Harold stayed behind and observed the vikings and soldiers having a bally-good time fencing and sparring with their weapons. He never learned in history class of a Viking-British battle that involved muskets and axes, but it didn’t bother his shipmates. Next time, he’ll be sure to bring a weapon.

He fingered the pill bottle again. He had his mission. Nervous, Harold walked forward into the sea of clanging weapons with his hands in the air.

A soldier stopped his sparring. “Why aren’t you fighting?” he asked.

“I have something for Colonel By, may I see him?” 

 “He’s a busy man. What business do you have with him?”

“I have his Adrenal Nucleoprotein tablets from his doctor,” said Harold shaking the pill bottle, “who asked me to deliver it.”

“Doctor Smith not here? Too bad! He would’ve loved this! I’m Captain Johnson. We are all field engineers working on the canal project. This town is so boring that we welcome some fun from the Society. Hope you didn’t get too scared with our cannon welcome! We need some target practice, ha-ha.”

They walked up the hill together to the fortress. Johnson introduced Harold to Colonel By.

“Your pills sir, as prescribed by your physician.”

“Thank goodness,” said Colonel By. “With this bloody canal project, we’ve had so many delays and cost overruns, I thought I’d die of a stroke. You know, we built this thing to protect us from an invading American force. Doubt that’ll ever happen now. And my reward for my efforts? A nagging headache and missing all the fun outside.” 

He read the instructions on the pill bottle and pulled the cork at the top of it without success. “Damn, can anyone open these things?” He smashed the bottle on the edge of a table and picked some pills in between the small shards of glass.

“Ah, much better,” the colonel said swallowing a handful. “Now, Harold. For giving me the relief from my aches and pains, how would you like to take your fine vessel I see tied in my lock on an inaugural sail down my canal tomorrow? Before it even opens up to the public.”

“I’d be honoured. Can I wear my horns?” said Harold.

“But of course, I too am part of the Nordic Society.” 

The following morning, Harold, the crew, and Colonel By wearing his viking helmet, navigated the locks to begin their 200 kilometre trek to Kingston. The first of many voyages boaters would take along the Rideau Canal.

Viking Siege © 2020 Bruce Gordon. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles and reviews. For more information, contact Bruce Gordon.

The Cursed Bow

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!, Flash Fiction, Writing2 Comments

Author’s Note: I humbly submit May’s edition of  Cait Gordon’s 2020 Flash Fiction Challenge,‘ featuring an fandom expo as this month’s setting, the object is a silken garment, and the genre is action-adventure – all in 1000 words. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

Jack’s sixteen. For his birthday, Ma bought him a much wanted ticket for the Fantasy Filmgoers Fan Expo. 

Gieselle Copenhagen, a woman he’d been crushing on for years, was the featured guest. He’d also get a free autograph and photo with her.

Giselle starred in the hit TV program, The Cursed Bow, where she played an elvish princess, Lura Liarel. Jack watched the show religiously, and designed a costume of Gorwin Yellen, a peasant who loved Lura. Tall and thin, Jack’s long prematurely greying black hair helped him look the part.

On the day of the FFFE, Jack realized his mother hadn’t done the laundry.

“Ma!” he yelled. “I’m out of underwear!”

“Why don’t you wear those boxer shorts Granny sent you for your birthday.”

“But Ma, I’ve never worn boxers before! I can’t wear them with my costume, either! Put a load on now!”

“I’ve got a life, too. You’re going to have to try them or wear nothing.”

Not fancying going commando in leotards, Jack opened his top drawer and opened the box of boxers. 

Hmm, he thought, red silk. He tried them. Ooh, these make me feel sexy. I’d love to show these to Giselle. Before he could indulge a deep fantasy, he noticed the time and dressed in his costume. Luckily, he had a pair of leggings to wear under the leotard to hide the shorts. A little baggy, around the waist, but it works. 

Jack grabbed a black-stringed necklace with pewter amulet of a tree growing from a crescent moon. Gorwin had spent the last two seasons searching for this magical talisman. Lura sent him on a quest to secure it to prove his love to her. The object’s powers would  bring peace to her war-torn kingdom. Jack put on the necklace, shouldered his backpack, and left. 

The moment he hit the street, a whoosh whistled by his ear. He jumped out of his skin. Behind him, in the distance about fifty yards away, stood a man clad in black leather armour and hoodie wielding a bow. He drew another arrow from his quiver. Jack was unarmed, unlike most suburban American teens, and he bolted in the opposite direction.

Approaching the end of his street, another bowman appeared, dressed identically to the first. He drew, and Jack turned between two houses. The leotard made for uncomfortable running, and the silk boxers created a wedgie effect. He entered the backyard and in discomfort, squeezed his buttocks. On his next step, he bounced twenty feet in the air, and cleared a hedge separating two properties. He released his grip and landed softly on the other side.

He continued to the street. Three more arrowed men were in hot pursuit. Jack clenched his fanny again feeling the smooth silk in his crack, and boinged. This time he was propelled thirty feet forward with each step. It created separation from his assailants, and he bounded to the stop where a bus waited. Last on, the bus pulled away and Jack looked out the window. A dozen more dark bowmen quit their pursuit.

 Jack subtly grabbed the boxers from his crevice and relaxed.

What on earth did Granny buy me?

#

Jack joined the line of orcs, goblins, and trolls outside the convention centre to enter FFFE. A school bus approached, and a pack or the sinister men in black exited with military precision. They goose-stepped in rank towards the back of the building, bows drawn.

  Jack breathed a sigh of relief. These must’ve been a group cosplaying as the Soldiers of Fengalla, the personal guard of his love, Luna’s, enemy.  King Aimon would’ve  been a great costume, thought Jack noticing a young man in the crowd dressed in this character. I could’ve joined the soldiers!

The crowd moved at a snail’s pace among the vendor booths. Jack wanted to buy a Funko-Pop of his love,  but didn’t want to dish out fifty bucks for it. He waited forty-five minutes to pay ten dollars for a butterbeer. Man, this stuff tastes like ass!

 He proceeded to the autograph area and found the line-up for his Giselle. He saw her at the table, smiling and signing photos for fans. His heart melted. It won’t be long until he’s united with his love.

People screamed. The dark army stormed into the room and bulled their way to the front, surrounding Giselle’s table. From the crowd, King Aimon emerged.

“Lura, this is your last chance. If you don’t forfeit your kingdom to me, I will execute you here and now, and your father will suffer a slow and painful death in my dungeon.”

Something silky snuck up Jack’s crevice, and he squeezed my keister tight. Instinct took over and Jack jumped over the crowd and landed on Lura’s table. The crowd erupted in cheers.

“Gorwin, you succeeded!” said Lura. “You brought me the Talisman of Unification. Give it to me quick.”

Jack handed the necklace to her. She placed it around her neck, and it glowed. The evil king petrified. 

“We have to leave, now,” she said.

She wrapped her arms around my neck, and Jack squeezed my derriere tight, and jumped over the crowds in a shower of airborne arrows. They erupted in applause. With another bound, Jack jumped over a curtained partition where other actors were waiting in privacy.

“That was amazing Stephen,” said Giselle. “They absolutely loved it!” She kissed Jack’s cheek and he swooned. “Wait a sec, you’re not Stephen!” She referred to the actor who played Gorwin.

“No, I’m Jack, I’ve loved you for so long.”

“But Jack, how were you able to leap over the people like that?”

“I think it’s something to do with my underwear my granny bought.” he said. “Wanna see them?”

“Uh, no, but great show!”

The king emerged in jeans and FFFE shirt. “That was a great performance G, want to grab some drinks?”

“Love to!”

The two exited the building arm and arm, leaving Jack alone.

He didn’t get her autograph, but he’ll never wash his face again.

The Cursed Bow © 2020 Bruce Gordon. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles and reviews. For more information, contact Bruce Gordon.

A Fox in the Field

A Fox in the Field

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!, Flash Fiction, Writing1 Comment

Author’s Note: I humbly submit February’s edition of  Cait Gordon’s 2020 Flash Fiction Challenge,‘ featuring a field as this month’s setting, the object is a beard trimmer, and the genre is a mystery – all in 1000 words. Thanks for reading and enjoy!

A nightmare jolted Daryl awake in mid-snore at 3:15 a.m. Monday morning. He stretched his arms out and curled his hands to form a fist, then released them. His arthritic knuckles ached more than usual, so he applied some cream and returned to bed. He couldn’t escape the horror of the weekend retreat, and didn’t know how he could possibly work the next day. He worried. Daryl needed the job and was on probation.

Remaining in bed, he attempted to distract himself by counting sheep. He hit 12,382 when his alarm sounded, prompting him to prepare for the day ahead.

How on earth am I going to teach this morning?

  The automatic coffee maker percolated. The aroma of Folgers filling the basement apartment helped Daryl remember his only morning joy—being slightly caffeinated. He drank his first cup black after showering, and turned on an American news station blathering about Donald Trump.

This daily crap motivates me to move so I can shut this tripe off quickly.

A sudden knock from the entranceway made Daryl jump. Who on earth would visit before 8 a.m?

He opened the door and a cool fall breeze cleared the remaining cobwebs in his mind. A woman in her mid-thirties stood facing him wearing a trench-coat. Her brown hair smelled of fresh fruit, and Daryl was taken aback by her beauty. Being a middle-aged bachelor, no one ever visited him in his home, especially nothing this pretty. Her arrival represented a repressed fantasy of his where a gorgeous woman would land on his doorstep.

“Daryl Hodgkin?” she said. “I’m Inspector Bronywn Merrill from the North Vancouver Police department. May I have a few words?”

Daryl hesitated. “Certainly. Would you like to come in?”

“Yes.”

He ushered her to the living room. “Would you like a coffee? Pot is fresh.”

“No, I prefer we get straight to business.” She sat on the couch and crossed her legs. Daryl noticed her bare knee and calf protruding from the coat.

“What can I do you for, Inspector.” Daryl tensed, not being accustomed to speaking to women.

Bronwyn opened her bag, and produced a plastic see-through sac. “Does this look familiar to you.”

“Yes,” said Daryl. She held a gold-plated beard trimmer. “That belonged to my colleague Sterling Fox. He’s had that since his teens.”

Daryl and Sterling taught at an all boys private school in the heart of the city. They had known each other since breaking into their teens, and were both the same age. Sterling always looked older. In fact, he needed to shave every day when they first met and would produce a five-o’clock shadow. Daryl, on the other hand shaved once a month. Within a year, Sterling grew out a beard and needed to maintain it.

Sterling teased Daryl calling him “little boy” all the time. Sterling had the looks, he got the girls, and all the popularity. Daryl, though, sat in his shadow, being picked on. Even participating in sports, Daryl played second string to Sterling.

Daryl paused his reflection a moment to observe Bronwyn move her leg up and down.

Shaving and fashion were huge for Sterling. Every second week, they travelled together for school sports or events. Sure enough, Sterling would bring his damn beard trimmer. Every morning he would turn it on.

 “Hear that singing sound?” he’d say. “That’s my trimmer little boy. You know what I use that for? Big man stuff. You’d cut yourself if you used it without adult supervision.”

 Teacher’s in school had to break up their daily fights. Sterling continually ridiculed Daryl for looking young, and being worthless. One could imagine the shock Daryl had when he discovered they both taught at the same school, twenty-years later.

The tormenting continued. “Little boys can’t teach at this school. The students would be more mature than the teacher.”

Even more alarming, the headmaster ordered Daryl to support Sterling in preparing his class for a weekend campout. The boys would hone their skills in orienteering before putting them to the test at a competition in the forests north of the city. 

The trial run took place in the  fifteen-acre school-owned  field, last weekend. Daryl had to train the students how to camp on their own. His approach was to train three prefects: Johnathan, Ryan, and Trevor—all spoiled brats in his eyes—who’d lead the others.

They pitched the tents in the corner of the field. Saturday, morning Sterling woke first and announced to the teens, “You see this?” He turned on his beard trimmer. “That’s the sound of a real man. When you’re men, you’ll be able to trim beards, too. You see this ‘little boy?’” He pointed to Daryl. “He still doesn’t even shave.

Enraged, Daryl stormed from the field leaving Sterling alone to coordinate the orienteering. He returned after to help with a campfire and dinner. Determined not to be taunted again by Sterling, he ripped open his bag and extracted the trimmer with intention to smash it to pieces. 

Sterling caught him, and with one punch, knocked out the weaker man.

Bronwyn raised the plastic bag. Her hazel eyes peered at its contents.

“We found the body this morning, lying in the middle of the field. The cord to the trimmer wrapped around Sterling’s neck. The boys saw your fight, and your fingerprints are all over the weapon.”

Daryl knew this, of course. It’s why he couldn’t sleep.

Before he could say anything, Bronwyn issued the Miranda warning forcing Daryl to remain silent. She cuffed him, and phoned for a police car. She helped herself to a cup of coffee as they left.

Daryl was convicted for Sterling’s  murder.

Six months later, a post appeared on Facebook reading, “Thank goodness that bastard father is dead. And I sure as hell am glad I won’t inherit that bloody beard-trimmer.

“I’m no longer a ‘little boy.’ No one will ever call me that again.”

Jonathan and Trevor both liked Ryan’s status.

A Fox in the Field © 2020 Bruce Gordon. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles and reviews. For more information, contact Bruce Gordon.

A Grave Encounter

A Grave Encounter

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!, Flash Fiction, Writing3 Comments

Author’s Note: I humbly submit February’s edition of  Cait Gordon’s 2020 Flash Fiction Challenge,‘ featuring a mausoleum as this month’s setting, the object is a pair of goggles, and the genre is goth romance – all in 1000 words. Thanks for reading and enjoy! BTW: I have no clue what is goth romance! : )

Lifelong friends Adrian Ciobanu and Daniel Popa travelled around the world the past ten years. Now, in their sixties, they shared many of life’s joys and tribulations together. The harshest occurred twenty years ago. The high-tech business they founded in Canada went under, and amidst lawsuits of corruption, the company’s doom left the two penniless. Financial stresses led to Adrian divorcing his wife of ten years, who refused to live on meagre income. At the time, Adrian envied Daniel, who didn’t have any familial dependencies.

 After struggling for many years to regain their footing, they decided to pack their bags and set out to their globe trotting. They were savvy and learned to live with little means while enjoying the freedom of not being tied down by societal rules and conventions. After a decade of travel, they tired of meandering the planet and returned to their country of their birth, Romania.

They took residence in a cemetery near the borders of Transylvania. No one, not even brave tourists, ventured into the dark, centuries-old graveyard. 

In the far corner stood a small building. The monument resembled a miniature version of St. Paul’s cathedral in London, mounted on a small hill. It served as a tribute to many a fallen warrior, and housed dozens of dead soldiers.

When they arrived, the entrance to the crypt was locked at the base of the knoll, but Adrian jimmied it open with a crowbar. The mausoleum provided the two shelter from the torrential rainfalls while they commiserated about their lives.

Daniel took to writing. The permanent stop from travelling offered him a chance to document his and Adrian’s travels. On the few days it didn’t rain, he’d venture out of the crypt and sat under an ancient tree. It faced a large tomb with an open grave. He often wondered why it never been filled, but it offered him inspiration to put pen to paper. He crafted stories explaining the reason for its existence.

Under his tree, Daniel felt the pinch of loneliness with his new graveyard life. He reflected more on his past and regretted the loss of his former wife from a time before he knew Adrian. He missed her youthful spirit and humour, and the overall comfort of having a spouse. 

One hot summer day, he fell asleep, only to be awoken to a torrential rainfall. He grimaced at his water logged notebook, and fished in his pocket for a pair of swimming goggles and strapped them on. He always had them, as he developed a quirk of never wanting his eyes exposed directly to water.

He jumped out of his skin once his eyes adjusted to them. A beautiful woman wearing a long gown and ringlets in her hair stood in front of the grave. A bright light glowed around her, making her visible in the night’s darkness, and she managed to stay dry under the deluge. Daniel guessed she might’ve been close to his age, and looked familiar to him.

“I have been awaiting an eternity for you to come.” She held out her hand for Daniel, who stood and took it.  

They walked hand-in-hand around the cemetery. The woman introduced herself as Elena, and offered little about herself apart from how she waited for her man to return. Daniel, excited to spend time with a woman again talked of his travels. Elena would laugh and slap his arm every now and again, making Daniel feel a special connection that had escaped him for decades.

Returning back near the mausoleum, Elena faced Daniel. “I’ve yearned to see you for so long.” She leaned forward, and kissed him with a deep passion of a long lost lover. 

“Good night, my love,” she said after the long embraced. Her hands slid down his back as she softened her hug and touched the top of his buttocks. “Find me again soon. I would love to spend a more intimate night together.”

She turned and walked away, leaving Daniel staring after her in the pouring rain. He entered his home, and pocketed his goggles.

“Where were you?” yelled Adrian. “I worried you got washed away in the storm!”

“I met this wonderful woman. It was like magic. It’s like I’ve known her forever.” said Daniel. He recounted every detail of his romantic evening to his friend. 

“I think we should leave,” suggested Adrian. “Between the effects of this place and your writing, I think it’s causing you to hallucinate. It’s been a while since we’ve been in America. Let’s return to Ottawa. I’m sure we can find you a new wife there.”   

“No, I want to stay and see her,” said Daniel, surprised at his conviction. “I want to stay for Elena.” 

After some more debate, Adrian relented and decided to indulge Daniel’s fantasies.

For the next several days, Daniel ventured out to his hangout and returned disappointed. Adrian mocked him each night, annoying Daniel to no end. 

The rain poured on the seventh night since Daniel met the lovely Elena. He donned his goggles for the first time in a week, and vowed to return with his love and introduce her to Adrian. Adrian laughed at Daniel as he exited the mausoleum.

Adrian grew concerned when he noticed Daniel hadn’t returned past midnight. Poor man is so deluded, he’ll stay up all night to prove me wrong, he thought. He went to sleep and awoke a few hours later at dawn. No Daniel.

In a state of consternation, Adrian wandered the cemetery. He had no clue where Daniel spent his time, and being a huge graveyard, his panic escalated realizing his companion could be lost.

 After a couple of days, he found Daniel’s ancient tree, and he noticed a freshly covered grave. The tombstone read: Elena Popa and Husband, 1782-1838. 

Daniel’s goggles rested on top. 

A Grave Encounter © 2020 Bruce Gordon. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without permission except in the case of brief quotations in critical articles and reviews. For more information, contact Bruce Gordon.

100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!Leave a comment

Day 100 of 100 Days Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Done for another year dudes and dudettes, and what a day to end my dissatisfaction posts!

Our government finally delivered on an “important” electoral promise, and looking forward to increased revenue due to higher Doritos sales, peace and love to flow through our land, and a new and healthy outlook on life

Peace out…

Btw look for the new Canadian flag to be unfurled just before the next election

Editorial Note (via wifey comment): I will miss the grow op homes on my street

Day 99b of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- the night before the end of the 2018 Edition

Looks like neighbour is taking a first stab at rebuilding his fence by reproducing a replica of Hadrian’s Wall

 

Day 99a of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Think this is snow? Remember, we are in late June. This allergy sufferers worst nightmare

Day 98 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

This innocent looking cat could move a couple of steps forward and take down the rest of my neighbour’s fence, thereby removing all hope that he can salvage any of the rotting wood to rebuild the section that already fell last year.

Cat didn’t bother, fence still stands #passiveaggressivesuburbanite

Day 97 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction-2018 Edition

The Washington Nationals are finishing a game that got suspended May 15th mid way through. In “today’s “ game, Adam Easton got a pinch hit 5 Days after his ankle surgery, and 19 year old sensation,Juan Soto,did not make his major league debut until 5 days after. But his debut result, below, was the same, uniting my confused time lapse.

Day 96 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Read that a project to widen 417 will see Carling/Kirkwood e/b off-ramp closed starting Monday. Good that they are addressing the area where slowdowns most occur for commuters. But really won’t fix the problem as you can’t change the habits of bad drivers who always slow down on gradual uphill ramp in that area

Day 95 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Jeff Sessions quoted the Bible to defend his government’s point of view..words to the effect of “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established, The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.”

I am no theologian, nor pretend to be, but the next paragraph says “Love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.” That’s a head scratcher as children are being separated from their familes.

But actually, the Bible can serve politics quite well and with no confusion. Dougie Ford is offering beer at a dollar, and will have to likely slash social services to do that. Surprised he has not defended his point of view, like Sessions, with the Bible:

“Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish!” – Proverbs 31:6 Sounds like a good remedy for the problem.

Day 94 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction-2018 Edition

love it when wifey also has dissatisfaction posts, though her’s are cuter

“Oh my word! I just watched this cute little bunny go up to my flowering campanula and eat all the buds off it. I am so making bunny burgers for supper!”

Day 93 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Is it my imagination, or does the 3$ more expensive Harvey’s Angus burger taste the same as their regular burger?

Day 92 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2018 Edition

I got a certificate of appreciation today, in an email to all staff with a link to a document to print. Efficiently generic with no personalized names on it, and saved money by not putting them in envelopes (now I have to find a frame at the dollar store to go with last years)

Day 91 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Facebook told me to check out my memories. They are all previous years’ dissatisfaction posts!

Day 90 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2018 Edition

After stressing a bit over the election results, I reflected on two key Conservative platforms –

repeal sex education and offer $1 beer – and relaxed. What could possibly go wrong?

Day 89 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

You know you are out of shape when you can’t outrun a doggie parade.

 

Day whatever of my 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Time to watch who won the “vote for the devil you know vs the devil you don’t know to well vs the devil you don’t want to know” election

After I do my groceries

 

Day 87 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
Ontario Provincial Elections voting day today. I get – in some way – politics, like religion, is based on belief. Like religion, political allegiance can be rooted in tradition – like “my Grandad bought a Chrysler, my Dad bought a Chrysler, so I, too, will buy a Chrysler.” Does not matter if Chryslers are bad cars, the allegiance to the brand and family is what matters.

Today, we have a choice of three vehicles – all known for a very high breakdown rate – a Chrysler, a Fiat, and a Mitsubishi

If you had to choose one of these cars, you may base the choice on what looks nicest to you, but you know that they will breakdown, and often – like our political parties.

It is one reason why I take the bus.

Happy election day Ontario! : )

Day 86 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Starbucks app is really great, especially if you want to pre-order your items and just pick them up at the counter of your local store.

Too bad the app tells me that a coffee with milk is not available at my store.

Day 85 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2018 Edition

it occurred to me that the electoral promise of the price of beer being less than a liter of gas should be extended to coffee as well, though I fear the price of Timmies may have to go up to compensate for the beer….

Day 84 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Living in a day where freedom of expression is an important value, I am hearing more children screaming in the grocery store than I ever have before (my Mum often told me this is something that just would not be permitted 40 years ago)

In fact, today I even heard a father encourage his daughters to scream as loud as possible at the store…Bruce grabs his items and exits fast!

Day 83 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

This is an “I love you” gift from a spouse when one is over 50…

Rinds can make a new hat?

Day 82 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction –

I don’t get political too often , but Wow! What a ploy. “We’re not going to win; so, vote Liberal.” What? Everyone voted Liberal? Another majority? How’d that happen?

#pipedream

Day 81 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition
Is there something wrong with me? Each time I watch an episode of DeGrassi, I have to counter it with Breaking Bad or Dexter..

Day 80 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition
Insta-banks now let you withdraw cash in a variety of denominations, not just 20s.

Today I withdrew 200 dollars. Only option I had was 5s…

Day 79 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Got stoked to go to the gym before work this morning, so much so, I woke up fully charged at 330 am!

Day 78 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Lilacs should be outlawed

#seasonalallergies

Day 77 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Happy to eat at a restaurant that offered vegetarian and gluten free options. The vegetarian was a Cesar Salad with chickpeas instead of chicken. Nice! My friend ordered it and it looked great, except for the bacon bits in it.

Day 76 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

I do what is good for the environment, and not my health, by taking the bus each day to work.

As there is no longer such thing as “public” parking in Gatineau, even on days where I would take the car to work, I cant – like on days when I have band practice and have to bring in my equipment.

Basses are pretty big to bring on a bus. I got a seat in the front and placed the bass case between my legs. Most people used it as an armrest, while standing, a support to propel themselves to the back of the bus, or an object to express frustration by pushing hard into it while smashing my knee.

Did not realize my bass would offer a community service.

Day 75 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Looking for adult space, go to local Starbucks, which was empty when I got there. Within 5 minutes, a monsoon of people come in with screaming children and smoking cigarettes to consume my quiet bliss and fresh air

Day 74 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

“It” sucks

Day 73 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Grateful to have received my first Christmas card of the year – very close to the first day of spring. Always inspired by those who don’t procrastinate and take the time to write . ; )

Day 72 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

At a conference, left my hotel room to get a coffee at a local Starbucks. Got it and came back in. Took the elevator to the 5th floor and tried to get into room 515. Key did not work.

After several tries, I realized that my room is on the 12th floor. (5th floor is my office at work…)

Day 71 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Am on a business trip and got a middle seat on my flight. I cursed as I am tal and have a hard time fitting in these seats. I joked with my colleagues that I wanted to experience the full glory or economy class.

I did. The woman beside me was over 6 feet and and needed a third of my seat. The man To my right at least could put the arm rest down. They both slept and snored the whole flight while I hunched over in my seat.

The flight was short and the stewardesses could only serve half the cabin drinks. I was in the back half. They did throw me some cookies as they put their cart away. I would have been happy with Oreos, but they were “bran” biscuits.

Day 70 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Irony. I am waiting over an hour to Get my allergy shot today, and they permit someone to bring a small lap dog in the medical clinic.

Glad I am just allergic to anything that is green and grows.

Day 69 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 edition

Stoked to help at Comicon and taking a vacation day for it. Reminded by colleague, though, that I am not entirely escaping the office this weekend

 

Day 68 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

My brain just got lobotomized thanks to Apple Music – and I warn you – DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. I was head banging along to Ozzie’s Bark at the Moon only to have that song followed by Olivia Newton-John’s Xanadu!

Don’t know how long it will take me to recover from the shock.

Day 67 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Spring is here and people are leaving their burrows to go play in the garden. One man I saw while walking is trying to raise the suburban lawn standards another notch.

He was on all fours with face about one inch from the ground. I thought he lost a contact lens, but saw him pull a very long and thin looking weed. I got home and stared at my weed infested jungle and went in to watch TV

Day 66 Of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Sad state the music industry is I. where guitar gods are no more. RIP Gibson, death by AIs and recording loops

 

Day 65 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Packed bus, had to balance awkwardly between two people as I had nothing to hold and no free hand to read on my phone . Luckily, I had some in-bus entertainment. A woman standing near me held an iPad, reading a story in a very large font . It caught my eye and it started to lookes like a mystery story. Ten minutes later, it evolved to cheap porn with poor grammar. Bored I saw another guy reading Breitbart online. No win. Stared into space for most of the ride

Day 64 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction-2018 Edition (for earlier this week)

Ever try to find parking in Gatineau when the main public parking lot is closed to the public? Need advice so I don’t have to drive/walk for miles

Day 63 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Sign at the doctor’s office says that I need to make an appointment 2 weeks in advance for prescription renewals to ensure I can keep popping my pills. Figuring I have about 3 weeks left to go, I thought it a good idea to make an appointment. Found out he is only taking patients in 6 weeks. What’s up with that?

Day 62 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction 2018 Edition

At Starbucks drive-through, car ahead of me had two large dogs, getting quite excited to see the teller. They stuck their noses out of a partially open window tails wagging frantically. The barista gave the owner an extra coffee cup which he immediately gave to his dogs to lap up. Hyper dogs on free coffee can’t be a good thing.

Day 61 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Maple Leafs…again

Day 60 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Yup, a headhunter tried to recruit me for a job I did over 25 years ago…

Day 59 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition.

Sad to see curling season end. At our end of year bonspiel, saw this great display. Looks great, but the can tasted a bit rusty

Day 58 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition.

Half the neighbours fence has fallen, now the other is starting to find its way to the ground.

Day 57 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Ever use liquid Tide in these horrible containers? I get more soap on my counter than I do in the laundry!

Day 56 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction-2018 Edition

Seeing the Illusionist today at the NAC. Noticed a gentleman taking a selfie in a public washroom with a backdrop of urinals. Hmmm…

Day 55 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction-2018 Edition

Decided to drive to work thinking it would be faster so I can arrive on time for a meeting. Ended up being 15 minutes longer and I was late

Day 54 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Ever leave coffee on your desk overnight in the cup, and think it’s your Timmy’s the next day, only to discover it is stone cold and rather rough to drink?

Day 53 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Love people thinking of good health and running, but is there any benefit to run when you can walk faster?

Day 52 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Why is Stormy Daniels the only thing that is newsworthy on TV?

Day 51 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

I have found I have been pouring beer the wrong way for decades…got to up my beer game!

Day 50 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Doing taxes.

Day 49 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition. For Friday

Three busses, three women, each carrying Tupperware containing stacks of cupcakes.

I was not offered any

Day 48 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

The Stupidstore updates its self-checkout software so you don’t bugged by the “Please put the item in the bag “ every time you scan something. Now if only someone would respond when I press Call Attendant.

Day 47 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition.

CJOH top 3 news stories in reverse order order today

– man blogging his last days on earth
– furniture store not giving deposits back to customers after it closed its doors yesterday
– Doug Ford wants to privatize pot

#inspirational

Day 46 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition.

When my feet get wet in winter, I get upset. Can’t imagine the degree of distress someone must be in having to walk in the slush with no bootie on.

Day 45 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition. The party that earns my vote will be the one that bans Daylight Savings Time.

Day 44 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

I am not the first to make a joke about the Ontario PCs trying to HASH out the results, right? Gosh Ontario politics CRACK me up!

Who says Canada is not like the States?

Day 43 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Walked outside for lunch today and found a Scotiabank bank card on the street. It happened to be right outside of the bank. I figured I’d better drop it off with someone in the bank, hoping someone may claim it. I noted two people sitting on the sidewalk against the wall outside the bank. They looked like homeless teens/early-twenties.

I gave the card to the receptionist at the bank who thanked us and as we left the door said it belonged to the street sitters, who got up to leave as we passed them.

If she knew that the bank card we picked up belonged to the street sitters, why didn’t she just give it to them, or let them know that they dropped it?

Day 42 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

I may have made comment about my grocery store (which I call the Stupid Store) and how they never had potatoes a year ago. At that time, I received a survey from the store asking how my visit went, and I complained there were no potatoes. Since then, I never saw the store without any! I am was in potato heaven…until tonight.

They had all the types of spuds except the type I usually get…

Day 41 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Why is it something I purchased from Amazon for $25 is only worth $6 according to the shipping label for insurance purposes?

Day 40 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

With all the modern advances in technology in our society, people are still getting colds and flu. Went to three walk-in clinics yesterday, all not accepting patients an hour after opening. Everyone inside wore masks! Then I see this video on the Web. I guess I understand the priorities for tech investment ; )

Went home and tried to work on my book, whose chapters will be greatly influenced by the effects of excessive Advil Cold and Sinus.

Day 39 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Facebook use to tell me how many interactions I got each week. It doesn’t anymore. Is it telling me something in a passive way? ; )

Day 38 of 100 Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition. U2 is one of my favourite bands. Reminded today that their War album, the record that introduced me to the band, was released on this day 35 years ago. Let that sink in…THIRTY-FIVE YEARS AGO!!

Day 37 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

My wakeup tune this morning on my iPod was Happy, by Pharrell Williams. Wifey said that was the most ironic song that someone like me would play first thing in the morning.

Day 36 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Took a vacation day off from work to crash and unwind, and my neighbour has contractors starting work today that has lots of electric saws and hammering going down.

Day 35 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Went to Costco today. Staff were friendly and one wished me Happy Family Day for tomorrow.

I work in Gatineau, not Ottawa…

Day 34 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Went to see Les Miserables today. Uplifting

Day 33 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Nothing says I love you more, this Valentine’s Eve, than buying a bunch of flowers from the grocery store. There were so many flowers in the store, but no fresh fruit or vegetable. Hard to boil a lily.

Day 32 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

A young child was banging chairs, basically making a nuisance of itself at the doctor’s office. Mom says, “We are not going out for treats if you continue doing that.” Child screams, “I don’t want treats!” and continues banging all the chairs, to everyone’s dismay.

Poor kid. Not even the incentive of treats made his trip to the doctor’s worthwhile. Poor adults, who wish the kid just stayed home.

Day 31 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Curling time ends at 5 pm. But the games are normally wrapped up by 4:45 pm. The horn goes off early in the arena to signal us off the ice so it can be prepared for the next game.

Today, at 4:45, we were winning the game, and no horn goes off, so no games to follow us. The skips decide to play one more end. We lose.

Drove home after in the freezing rain.

Day 30 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Jeffrey Loria, the man who ultimately was responsible for getting the Expos out of Montreal, is applying the same business strategy to the Miami Marlins, He continuously dumps off star players and wonders why fans don’t come to his teams games (and they have a nice looking new stadium)

He has found a new and exciting way to motivate fans to buy tickets, Marlins are refusing to give the price of tickets this season until people arrive at the stadium today to actually buy them.

Day 29 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

Ever look back at some old pictures of yourself? I like the nostalgia, but today I got hit with a bomb that I was completely clueless with what I chose to wear.

Case in point, today I looked for a picture of my first guitar. Found one not only my first guitar but also my first “show”.

Here is me looking oh so ZZ-top playing Sharp Dressed Man. My bandmates knew how to look rock n roll. Kudos to them!

Day 28 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

What could be more satisfying than having a day of drinking nothing but Gatorade and sipping back fine Chicken Broth?

Day 27 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition. Bruno Mars is making a bold petition to bring hip hop and rap to the Super Bowl half time show next year…

What about bringing back straightforward rock?

Day 26 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Ever get sent to data jail? You know, when you go over or near your cell phone limit and you turn the data off so that you don’t get additional charges?

I happened to be in data jail, and released today. I turned on my cellphone data and somehow used 140 MB in one day. 70MB is “system” cell data, including, but not limited to, “location services”. I guess I must have a lot of data to track, commuting from Kanata to Gatineau in an OCTranspo 40 foot trashcan.

Day 25 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Great day. Won at curling and Pats lost

But

Brady did not retire right after game

Day 24 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Hey everyone, it’s National Ice Cream Day for Breakfast Day! Put on your parka and long johns, and go out to your local ice cream parlor and celebrate!! (Only -19 when I woke up)

https://www.facebook.com/events/140160150013198/

Day 23 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2018 Edition

Reported a cracked window in my office earlier this week. Liked the repair job done while I was in meetings.

Btw building owners made us take down are post-it note cartoons from the windows as they threatened to cause problems with the heating. At least duct tape should not cause the same problem.

Day 22 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

I just remembered the Super Bowl will happen this Sunday. I guess I forgot because the Patriots are in it again #yawn

Day 21 0f 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

I record CJOH 6 pm news, for the occasional day I would like to connect with the goings on of our community. Today, after a long day at the office, I figured turn it on to give me a different headspace. The stories tend to be benign in nature like someone lost a pet cat who survived several weeks in the winter outdoors or something about ice sculpting. Tonight featured full video coverage of someone being shot in the head in a courthouse.

Not relaxing, and quite sad..

Day 20 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Played a game on my cell called 2048 for over two hours on the bus today. Got hooked on a game that involved me swishing my finger mindlessly across the screen for no apparent reason.

Time I won’t get back. And may have lost some hair in the process

Day 19 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

OCTranspo seems to be attempting to conserve electricity on their bus signs. My 269 today did not have any indication of bus number, except the bus driver who had a handwritten 269 that he held for passengers coming on the bus.

I almost missed it because I could not read his sign through the door
as he passed by.

Day 18 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Was reminded that 2018 marks the 25th anniversary of the Montreal Canadiens winning the Stanley Cup! 25 years! We are sounding more like the Maple Leafs!

Day 17 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction

A great day for bargains! Gluten Free bread happened to be on sale, which gave my wallet a welcome relief as with the discount, it only cost 205% more than a regular loaf of bread.

Day 16 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition.

Today, I felt more energetic than I had all week as I am recovering from a cold. Today my sinuses did not run. This afternoon, in a meeting, I felt a tickle in my throat and I could not stop coughing. I had to bolt out of the room to the bathroom, and |I guess the remnants of my cold came up from my lungs.

Yuck.

Day 15 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition. This may be a 2 for 1 day.

Went to the pharmacy to get some Advil and Tylenol (much needed) and proceeded to the cashier where I had a choice of two lines. One line had three people, the other had an elderly couple in the process of being served. Law of averages, the line with one person typically moves faster so I moved towards the one with the couple.

As I approached to take the much coveted #2 spot in line, I was aggressively cut off by an unshaven young man wearing sweatpants and a baseball cap. He was standing at the end of the other line.figuring he’d cut in front of me as my line had a smaller lineup.

The old couple in the front of my line was heavily engaged with the cashier about points, coupons, price checks, looking for change, flyers, and the weather that the line did not move – but I noticed the other line moved so I went to the other line and got served before the man who cut me off. WIN! SATISFACTION! He was standing waiting for the couple to finish their discussion with the cashier as I walked chipperly out of the store!

Part 2 of the story. There was an older woman ahead of me in the line that I moved to. She was large, and about my height, but qualified for a seniors discount as she, too, was trying to save on every penny she could. She saw packages of “pork jerky” for sale at the cash and took advantage of a 3 for 5$ special offered to her, she bought 6 packs. My turn came up, I passed through the cash quickly with my two purchase items and was given the same pork jerky offer. Without thinking, and perhaps reflecting on how my doctor said I should lose weight, said “No thanks, I have to watch my waistline” The large woman ahead of me scowled and gave me dirty looks, I did not mean to disappoint someone because I don’t like or want pork jerky!

As I left the store, I noted that the old couple continuing their discussion with the cashier on the other side, and the queue grew to several people there, including unshaven man, trapped in lineup purgatory.

Day 14 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Doctor told me today I have to lose 6 cm off my waste. Well, here is day 1 of my new diet!

 

Day 13 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition (for wifey).

Saw a great sign on a back window of a car:

Utext
Udrive
Udie

Great slogan. Too bad the message covered half the back window, which minimizes the vision of the driver, which could kill him too!

Day 12 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction-2018 Edition. Today is National Hugging Day. I think everyone I knew missed the memo. I did not get a hug. Instead, I got a cold   : )

Day 11 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition

Went to get some gas and saw there was no lineup for the car wash so we purchased a wash. By the time I finished pumping my gas, 7 cars were in line for the car wash. The station had been completely vacant!

Day 10 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

For some reason, my Google music streaming service is playing Puff the Magic Dragon!

One of the first songs I remember listening to as a kid! Where on earth did Google AI find that piece of info on me?

BTW: I know asked before, but what is your first song you remember hearing as a kid?

Day 9 of 10 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Those of you who own Starbucks Gold Cards know all about “chasing stars”. You buy a certain amount of coffee, food, etc., you obtain stars. You get enough stars, you get free coffee, food, etc.

Also, they encourage you to buy coffee, food, etc. by having special promotions that effectively make you burn a hole through your wallet to get a free drink. You buy three sandwiches in a week, you get a free 12 dollar coffee (or that is what my free drink costs).

What I learned today, I have been buying food from a Starbucks that does not participate in these promotions. I never got stars from the promotions I participated in. Writing a letter of complaint now, lol.

Day 8 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

I have never been a fan of pop music in this new millennium, but I have watched two episodes of the Launch, and like what they are doing. A famous song writer/producer writes a song, then looks for the right voice for it among contestants. The winner has the song launched on radio the next day with their voice. Great idea.

I liked the hook of the first song last week, and I am not sure if it’s my age, the state of pop music, or my lack of liking the style, but after the launch of the second artist this week, I have now completely forgotten the first song.

Day 7 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

You know those batteries used in Apple TV remotes? The ones that are quarter sized CR2032…well it has been two weeks since I have gone to the store meaning to replace it with a new one and it’s two weeks I have come home, put everything away, sat down to watch tv only to realize that the remote does not work.

Day 6 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition

Went to the dentist today, and my oral hygienist offered to give me a free toothbrush and floss, which I happily accepted. She gave me 3 packages of floss. I am not sure if this is intended to be a subtle message or just an act of kindness.

Day 5 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition.

Amazon Prime a great service if you use them a lot. For 90$ a year you get access to their video and streaming service, and free shipping on a lot of items, except for the ones I want to buy, or it’s free but does not ship to my home.

Day 4 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition.

I appreciate OCTranspo bus drivers keeping to their schedules, makes wait times more predictable at bus stops. But bus drivers, you have to actually stop and pick up the passengers, not zoom by them and ignore them. #269 #502pm #Lebreton

 

Day 3b of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition.

I enjoyed a small McDonald’s cheeseburger hamburger yesterday for the first time in a long while, then read an article about how they are still using ammonium hydroxide to wash in order to purify and to be able to keep selling bad meat. Puke.

 

Day 3a of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2018 Edition.

Yes, I get that dealing with extreme weather is part of being Canadian. But why on earth would Facebook think that 2 day old news about weather would be worthwhile putting at the top of my newsfeed?

 

Day 2 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2018 Edition.

I tested my boots to the 100% water proof claim by walking in deep puddles of water on a bridge near where I work. #fail

Day 1 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction 2018 Edition

and we’re off, after vowing not to do this again, I am now back at it

‪Went to the gym today and forgot Apple Watch at home. I realized it as I got on the treadmill. I actually considered going home to get it – Why work out if it is not tracked? #slavetomywatch ‬

100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!Leave a comment

Day 1 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Great to kick off this year’s dissatisfaction on the first day of Lent. I don’t practice this tradition, but wifey does. Typically, the Tuesday before lent, for tradition’s sake, we eat pancakes. Last night, we ran out or milk, so we had pizza instead. Hard to put maple syrop on pizza.

Today, Wifey announced that she is giving up all sorts of snacks for Lent. This includes, but not limited to, cup cakes, junk food, chips, basically all the stuff I like. I am now, by default, practicing Lent by association. I can now easily kill 40 days of my 100, but I am pretty sure I will find other things to complain about.

signature-buttercream-cupcakes

 

Day 2 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Too many people criticise public servants.

If you ever doubt public servants work hard, just look at my colleague’s desk. He is so busy, he has to eat lunch out of a can‎ – doubt it is heated. This is also an indication of his salary, can’t even afford to buy Tupperware.

 

img_20170201_115301

 

Day 3 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I don’t drive my car to work too often, but today I did. Usually, you grab your ticket on the way in, and pay the guy in the booth on the way out.  Seems in my parking lot, the new owners want to replace the attendant with a machine, not too dissimilar from the one pictured below. Problem is that the instructions in the machine were backwards.  Instead of inserting and pulling out your ticket in the machine, you have to leave it in. The picture of the credit card was also upside down with the stripe facing the wrong way!!  This is nuts! Took a half hour to get out of the garage by the time it was my turn.  I had to call the attendant, but he did not speak too clearly over the intercom.  Finally got out, but took several tries! If the payment centre was in the building, maybe would be a bit more productive??

day-3-booth

Day 4 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

It is minus brrrrr degrees outside. Wifey and I decided to go for a lunch at Jack Aster’s in the Centrum Mall of Kanata. Seemed like half of Kanata had the same idea. Mall was packed, and lineup outside of the restaurant (it was 1:3o! Who eats lunch at 1:30?)

We got in and asked for a place for 2. There were three two seated booths that were empty (despite the place being really busy).  We were asked to wait. Fifteen minutes later, we were finally escorted to one of the three empty booths.  The location of these booths were about 15 feet from the door, which allowed for an arctic cold blast every time it was opened. We had to eat lunch with our hats on….

day-4-jack-astors

Day 5 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

HMV is closing its doors. Gone are the days where you look through a rack of CDs or albums to decide what music you want to buy. In fact, with all these streaming services, one can argue gone are the days you buy music. Sad that this industry has become so devalued. Even our listening habits have changed, no longer actively listening to songs, rather have them on as background.

That said, for HMVs clearance sale, it seemed that all they had available was Justin Beiber and Christmas albums, and at modest discounts.  Maybe there is another reason why this chain went under (note, for what its worth, they did not have Nickleback, that would have sealed their fate a decade ago!

day5_hmv

Day 6 0f 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Shot day…the clinic was open! Allelujah! The nurse who administered my shot is quite nice and originally from Bosnia.  She does have an accent when she speaks.  As I sat and waited to be called in to have my shot administered, I heard what I thought was my name. Came out as “Brrrrrooooose” by the nurse. Heavy accenting and extension on the rrrrrr and the uuuu and sharp cutoff on the ce.

That wasn’t so bad, but because of it, I had a flashback to when I had a Czechoslovakian nanny. She said my name in a similar manner, except that she threw in an “ie” at the end. Made me shudder being reminded of that. Further, my nanny sometimes dropped the “r” to say “Boosie”. Reason to this day I only permit a select couple of people to call me Brucie, in case any of you were interested.

Day 7 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Finally home from work and settling down, and zonked. Ever have one of those days, after having very little sleep, that you cannot process anything?  Today was such a day.  Had a first. Went to get a sandwich at our local restaurant in the building. Saw a delicious picture of an egg, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and cheese club and started staring at it. The photo sandwich must have had a hypnotic effect, because two people passed ahead of me in line. Then I heard “sir” in a voice that seemed like a dream. I kept hearing it a couple more times (it was coming from behind the counter), then I snapped out of it, as if I came out of a deep sleep. The people who passed me in line started to laugh.

I proceeded to order a smoke meat sandwich.

Day 8 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Was walking up to the bus stop and waited in line.  As I was about to board the bus, saw a Blackberry 10 in its case on the ground at the bus door. I picked it up and when I got on the bus announced that I found this Blackberry.  Was very surprised that someone actually admitted to losing it.  I would have been happy to have  it “dissappear”.

Day 9 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Driving a friend home from work and listening to some tunes.  I think my ear has officially died today. I heard a song I never heard, but  for some reason, I thought Cat Stevens sounded like Tina Turner.

Day 10 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Felt like watching a great Kubrick film, Paths of Glory, which was available at the Ottawa Public Library. I went online and placed a hold on it, and it became available for me to pick up today.  Been a while since I checked something out, but the automatic checkout machines do make the process easier. I scanned my card, scanned the DVD, and poof, I was permitted to walk out of the libray with the borrowed itesm.

Felt badly for the librarians. Who do they talk to during the day, now that patrons no longer have to interact with them.

Day 11 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Why can’t we spring forward early Friday afternoon to save our weekends? For that matter, why do we need this at all. I had my lunch at 2, and dinner time is coming fast. I am not hungry

Why don’t we move the clocks back a half hour in fall, call it even, and never do this time changing nonsense again

 

Day 12 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I go to a gym, I don’t get offended by the presence of my scale. I get more offended by people who :

– sneeze hork or do other bodily functions which the shower is not intended for
– though I get its form of communication, Neanderthal ape laced with profanity not an official language
– not wiping up after using equipment
– eating copious amounts of garlic or curry just prior to working out
– unsupervised children at the gym
– noise cancelling headphones making anyone in the above list difficult to communicate with
– being forced to listen to nonstop auto tune rap for an hour a day
– axe spray in the locker room

Well done Carleton. You would save more money and promote less offensive environment by taking down your gym’s mirrors

http://www.1310news.com/2017/03/13/weight-scales-removed-carleton-university-fitness-centre/

 

Day 13 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I heard the recording console for Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon recording console is going to be auctioned off at the end of the month.  Should be a fair bit of coin. By contrast, I wonder what I would get for mine?

darksideconsolejklasdjklasdkljasldfjk_465_320_int

1776panasonic

Day 14 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I saw a yummy caramel apple gluten free granola bar on sale in the grocery store. Five bars per box.

I bought them, and when I opened the box saw this.  The bars were about the size of my pinky. The image on the right shows five bars in the box.

Day 15 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017
Having a last name as a first name is a problem. I am often called by my last name. Often, way too often. It is a running joke in the office as this is a daily irritant. What is particularly frustrating is my email is always signed BRUCE Gordon. Today was an all time low when a student I was interviewing called me Gordon.
Day 16 0f 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
I was at the gym this afternoon after work, and as I was running on the treadmill, I saw an add for Goodlife Virtual Fitness classes. I did not think too much about it, then when I got off the treadmill, I saw footprints glued to the ground like the photo below. It is hard to read what is on the footy-print, but it said “this way to the Virtual Fitness Class”. The footprints lead to the door where the REAL fitness class is. The lights were bright, and I was tentative to go in thinking I may get drawn into some cyber-vortex. Found out that virtual fitness class gives you the opportunity to pop a dvd in a tv set and workout in the gym…good way to for the gym to save money by replacing staff with a function that one can do in the comfort of their own home – instead of forking out $100 for the honour of doing exercise in front of a TV with others.

Day 17 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

As a teen, I heard that the average person waits in line SEVEN years of their lives. That was very easy to believe back then. Nice that some of that time is now reduced thanks to modern technology and online shipping and banking. But if you ever get nostalgic, or actually want to increase the amount of years you spend in line, go to the post office. For me, it is a guaranteed 15 minute wait each time a go, even when their is no one in line (when there is no lineup, the clerk is off doing other things). Today took the cake, and this is typical of my post office experience. I have one letter to send. The gentleman in front of me had 22 parcels (I counted). Each one of various sizes and dimensions going all over the place. He had an over 200$ bill. Wait time was about crazy, about 3 minutes per parcel. I was luck he was down to his last 6. The two people ahead of me each had one letter – about 1 minute wait for each one of them.
PS – my experiences with drug stores is a little better, though there is always someone in front of me who either does not have adequate health care information or has 100 questions for the pharmacist

Day 18 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I am all for accessibility and helping those in need. I don’t like it when people use disabled parking spots who do no have stickers permitting to do so and seem healthy.  Even if they have the permit, I sometimes find I have to remind myself not to judge those who use disabled parking spots who have no apparent disability.

As I struggle with judging others, what do I do about this? I see a gentleman walking to the front of the line at a bus stop. He has a white cane and a service dog by his self (dog was a beautiful black lab with blue booties). He was also wearing earphones.

Day 19 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

 I get my wife the latest version of the iPhone. Guess what? All I hear is Angry Birds.
Day 20 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

ALL HAIL ERGO-TRON! It arrived! It is awesome and majestic. I can stand and type!

Now if only I could get my keyboard replaced….

Day 21 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
Had to pick up some milk and bananas. Wifey accompanied me to the store. Always nice to have Wifey with me. When we got the store, she proclaimed “we need red pepper”, we get the pepper. “We need onion”, we get the onion, “we need potatoes”, we get the potatoes, “we need dill”, and so on.
Got home, realised we did not get the milk and bananas!

Day 22 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

On bus. Looked down. What the heck is that?

Day 23 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017

Spent a really nice day with Mum in Montreal. We had a brunch in our usual place, Ben & Florentines, a nice breakfast restaurant.  The picture below is the “after” shot. Note remnant of egg. The before looked like a plateful of scrambled eggs, bacon bits, sausage bits, and spuds all over the floor….the reason?

I am all for families going out to having a nice meal together in restaurants. I like babies too (especially with a bit of ketchup and mustard). This table had a family of three.  The mother, place a rather large pile of food in front of the baby, with no plate, no placemat, RIGHT ON THE TABLE!  Who knows what germs were there (another sub-issue).  She did not give her baby any instruction to eat.  Baby was smart. As the food was not served with silverware, it took all the food, picked it up, and threw it all over the place.

Parents waited until the pile of food was gone, a process that took a couple of minutes. Paid their bill. Then left.

Day 24 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (for yesterday)
On my way home from Montreal stopped to take a break at McDonalds in Casselman. Been a while since I have gone into one. I saw this ambulance outside of it. Was concerned that this was a new McDonalds initiative to be proactive about responding to the effects of their food on clients. Ended up the med techs were just going for a Big Mac and bypassing the drive through.
Day 25 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
I recently got an iPhone 5 to play around with. I am enjoying the integration of the phone with all my apple products. I have been a Google Music person the last few years, and I figured since Apple products blend really well together, I’d try the Apple Music streaming service. Initially, I was frustrated, as it would not allow me to download songs to my phone for 90 days (some sort problem of too many Apple IDs with the phone). The 90 days are now over and I can now do offline listening, and I do like how Apple Music integrates nicely into iTunes.
As I mentioned in the past, a geeky thing I do is track my music listening habits. I have been doing this for years and you can see what songs I listen to at https://www.last.fm/user/bg_flashheart\
The tool I use to make this happen is called a “scrobbler”. It installs on my Mac and when I sync my music with iTunes, it updates my stats on the site.
Tonight was the first time I scrobbled Apple Music. The scrobbler reported that it could not update my last.fm site as the songs I listened today were dated WAY TOO FAR INTO THE FUTURE.
I think Apple Missed the mark of trying to predict my listening habits…I also do not plan to relisten to their suggested songs from Vixen’s greatest hits for a long while (they really only have one).

Day 26 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I watch the news in the morning, and get bombed with the same commercials over and over again.

Today’s “hit” commercial is promoting the Real Housewives of Toronto (another reason to be dissatisfied). The quote that got me during the commercial was “the higher the heels, the closer you are to God”.

I am of the opinion that that is a very weak theological point as most religions require you to take off your shoes to walk on “holy ground”

Interesting to note, Mark 6:9 says “Wear sandals but not an extra shirt.” I guess I wont be close to God today as I have an undershirt on.

Day 27 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Wifey FB post from events of tonight

Bruce: *says rude joke*
Me: *tries not to laugh but fails*
Me: You are truly the worst of all men!
Bruce: No, I’m the best of all men!
Me: No, you’re absolutely the worst of all men.
Bruce: You married me because I’m the best and the worst of all men.
Me: That’s absolutely accurate!

Me (alone typing this): She was suppose to disagree!

Day 28 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Saw this little critter hanging around my driveway this evening. A sure sign of spring; but seeing it brought out some melancholy in me. I was reminded of our first bunny that hung around our house. It spent much of his time sleeping in our backyard and eating clover. We called him Angus McMunchin. Sadly, Angus became a late night snack for a coyote who kindly left all but a rabbit’s foot entwined on a hip bone on our deck (coyote also left some things behind to try to claim the deck as his…). It was a sad day.

Bunnies are cute. Coyotes can be too. The two together are not.

To cheer things up after such a sad post here is a joke: What to you get when you cross a bunny with a leaf blower? A HARE DRYER. ba ha ha

Day 29 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
I go to the gym well before sunrise. If you are a jogger in suburbia:
1. There are no streetlights
2. There are no sidewalks
3. Don’t think you are visible by wearing all black with a flashing red armband.
This is what I saw while driving…does not give me fuzzy feeling for runners safety, or overall intelligence

Day 30 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2017 Edition

A few years ago, I saw a product to help with digestion . They were cookies called Bowel Buddies.

Then I saw this product. My reaction was the same as the title of this cereal when I saw the price and questioned where is the money going?. There has to be a cheaper way to promote regularity.

Day 31 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

No offence to all my friends who are horticulturistically inclined, but our local Stupidstore is starting to fence up one-third of its parking lot for its garden centre. The writing was on the wall this week when big pallets of huge bags of earth and fertiliser appeared out of nowhere. Can’t they see that there is still snow on the ground? Obviously, there is a lot of money to be made if the grocery store is converting much-needed parking space into a flower shop. The denizen of Suburgatory do love their flowers and making their homes to a certain standard – one which everyone is expected to live up to.

For me, I buy a bed of flowers in early spring, they die during the first frost in June (happens every year). Buy another one, either the animals eat it or it dies two months later in the fall.
I am going back to my Scottish roots and am growing peat moss in my yard. Cheaper and better for the grass. At least it can be turned into scotch. Can’t really drink or eat flowers.

Day 32 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (for yesterday)

Iiiiiiiiits Wrestlemania! Some cool things from the show…a wedding proposal (real), and the unexpected (and likely) loss and retirement of the last standing Wrestler that was around during the times when I followed this sport as a teen (late 80s to early 90s) – the Undertaker, RIP

Then the evening was scarred by the presence and performance of Pitbull. Guy is everywhere, songs “featuring” Pitbull, now Wrestling? I am not even sure what he is talented at, certainly not singing and writing music….is using autotune a skill?

Day 33 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Rain sucks, and sucks more when you ride the bus. I sat down by the door in a window seat. I was minding my own business until I noticed my pant leg was getting wet. I looked up to see someone had sit down next to me and hung their umbrella on a rail in front of the door, effectively making the umbrella drip all over my leg. Being wet makes for unhappies!

Day 34 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Had a Starbucks spinach and feta wrap. Are wraps suppose to be crunchy?

Day 35 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

So the Couche-Tard in my building was having a customer appreciation day. They were giving out free coffee. Their coffee is really decent. It normally is 1.35 for a cup, and each cup uses freshly ground coffee beans, blended by the machine as the coffee is brewed in front of you. There was no one in the store getting free coffee. Where were they? At the Tim Horton’s access the hall, waiting in line for 20 minutes for the coffee that costs $2.00 a pop and can taste like two dirty socks dipped in hot water with the fragrant aroma of cat urine.

I don’t mind Tim Horton’s, but the little guy just can’t cut a break. Guess they don’t have many customers to appreciate….

Day 36 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edtion

Somehow missed this day…

Day 37 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I am all for supporting small businesses. My heart breaks when I see the small guy trying to make a living get crunched by a big corporation. I usually pay with Visa, mostly for convenience and point collecting. When a small business requests we pay with cash, I will honour that as I know they have to pay surcharge and lose a bit on the profit (which for small business, does have impact).

Walmart, however, today announced it will no longer accept Visa, purely as a financial decision – despite Visa giving them the lowest possible rates. Visa is the largest credit card in Canada, and not everyone can pay with cash all the time.

When this comes in to effect after July 18, I plan to continue shopping at Walmart, ensuring my cart is filled with hundreds of “dollar store” valued items from different sections of the store, and when asked to pay cash, say, sorry, cant do it, and leave my cart at the cashier.

Any joiners?

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/walmart-stop-accepting-visa-cards-across-its-stores-canada-1564913

Day 38 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Took wifey for a blood test this morning, saw this little creature crawling along the wall in the clinic. Hate to see what else may get into the blood samples. Concerned for overall cleanliness of our medical facilities.

Day 39 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

These bunnies were walking around the floor today. Instead of giving out chocolate eggs, they were taking money for the HOPE of winning a chocolate egg!! Even the Easter Bunny is running into hard times! lol

Kidding aside, our Social Committee does awesome work to bring cheer to the workplace, and they are amazing! Always appreciate their efforts and creativity.

Day 40 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

This bunny I saw in the grocery store tonight is :

1. Confused as it wants real vegetables
2. Sad because there is no carrot juice, but only V8 type stuff and canned tomato paste.
3. Wondering why there is no vodka sold on this shelf
4. Feels lonely and abandoned…

Day 41 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
I met a few of you at fun startup called Netactive about 17 years ago. Some of you may have still seen me wear the jacket to this day. It still fits, still keeps me warm, and does not smell too bad.

Today, someone tapped my shoulder in the store and said “I HAVE to get a picture of that jacket”. Do you mind? He immediately said that he was a tester for the company. He got paid 15$ an hour to test video games. Great deal! He almost made as much as I did (I was the guy developing those games…)

He was very nice, and I am always one to do a photo-op, but made me reflect that the jacket is a walking billboard of a cool idea that failed. Perhaps I should get the name reembroidered to “Not Active”. Would be more apropos, but then people would just think I am lazy and relatively inert

Day 42 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

GORGEOUS DAY! Warm, sunny, perfect for a walk with wifey.
But, in the distance, came a thunderous racket of 3 chopper like motorcycles, all the bikers wore “Ruffians” as patches on their leather (at first glance, I thought it said “Muffins”, which may have been appropriate given their statuesque physique….heck with a name like Muffins, they can get sponsors from such suburban tropes like Starbucks). When I saw this, I thought it was bad enough that suburban teens (mostly bored males) want to protray themselves as people who have tough lives in the projects. Now we have grown men (perhaps mid-life), who are bored and want to be the second coming of the Hells Angels in my subdivision!

Follow up note. These guys are a legit club. And of all things, they are Masons (but deny they are Masons) on bikes! I thought they were long gone!

Day 43 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2017 Edition

Mum got a thank you gift from Ultramar for being a loyal customer (she heats her home with their gas). It is a $20 gift card which is to be used at Ultramar gas stations when you fill up your car with gas. As there are no Ultramar stations near her, she kindly gave me the card.

Then we read the fine print. The card is for a 2$ discount for 10 trips to the gas station, minimum purchase 25 litres of gas. So you effectively get a discount of 20$when you purchase about $350 worth of gas. Twenty bucks is twenty bucks, but does not seem like much of a thank you!

Day 44 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Easter is here, and though I get the importance of the season to some, the choice on TV of watching the documentary Finding Jesus on CNN or the Habs beat the Rangers in playoff hockey was pretty easy.

Despite that, on this day, I am reminded of a quote. “The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians: who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, walk out the door, and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.” I can’t say if that is completely true, but it surely does not help, especially when one sees what is going on in the world around us.

Peace to you all on this day where I reflect on self-sacrificing love, which seems miles away from what some of our political, religious, and media-based institutions portray.

BTW: I did NOT get a chocolate Easter bunny this year, in case you were wondering.

Day 45 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

New ways for waiters/waitresses to fish for tips…leave jokes on the receipt. Luckily for her, the tip was not based on the quality of the joke as I groaned more than I Iaughed. Kudos for the effort, I would have given no tip if the joke had been like “What comes at the end of Easter? An R” or “Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite actor? Rabbit DeNiro” or “What’s yellow, has long ears, and hangs in trees? The Easter Bun-na-na”

Day 46 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Not to undermine the seriousness of this story, but shouldn’t this police composite drawing be a Têtes a claques character? I mean, what next, stick figure drawings?

 

Day 47 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Rock n Roll Hall of Fame pretty cool place if you like looking at original artists guitars, clothing, lyric sheets , etc. It also had a huge exhibit dedicate to John Cougar Mellencamp (charts songs like I do!) U2 in 3D reminded me of what a special live band they are.

Absent was Rush…except on a Tshirt that lists all the inductees for $40

Day 48 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2017 Edition

I am all for teaching children new life skills. Today, I was the tenth person in line at Starbucks, and the line not moving. There was a man with three young boys at the cash. He was showing them how to make a purchase with a credit card, by inserting the card in the device and entering his pin. Not bad except he was giving them each a try at it to buy their own drinks, and the six year old in the troop struggled with it for a long time…I hope people waiting in line equally learned something too.

Day 49 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2017 Edition

First night in my hotel, and wow, lots of channels to watch, but no TV guide. Channel surfing almost impossible as each channel has about 10 minutes of commercials each. So I stayed on 1 channel and realized that this was not quite new programming. Lol, did not realize this show was still a thing

Day 50 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2017 Edition

United Airlines announced their flight to Houston delayed due to a fuel leak. They have to drain the aircraft of fuel. Patch the leak, then refuel, all in about 30 minutes . The person announcing this sounded hesitant, perhaps the recent backlash makes delivering bad news especially difficult

Would you board this airplane, even if you are being compensated for potentially missing a connecting flight in Houston?

FYI I am on Air Canada, but was served by a united attendant who was very friendly. Ironically, Air Canada staff could learn from this

Day 51 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Went for a walk, and this three way intersection in Kanata is what we call the Three Gates of Hell…No one knows how to stop, turn, or go straight at this intersection, which means pedestrians are at high risk and will have low probability of success crossing the street. Walked down to the roundabout where it was safer to cross.

Day 52 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

As always, waiting for my doctor’s appointment. I was 10 minutes late and there are still 2 people ahead of me. Two children really acting up with high pitched screaming and everything. Parents threatening to take children home for bad behavior. Parents – Does threatening your children with not seeing the doctor help improve their behavior?

Day 53 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Donald Trump says Canada has ‘outsmarted our politicians for many years’ on lumber trade. Canada’s trade team strategizes next move.

Day 54 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Starbucks has a fun promotion. Buy coffee, and they give you a chance to play a game with a Canadian theme to try to win Starbucks for life, along with thousands of other prizes. I did not realise this was happening until I had an email notification saying I had 59 plays! I log into the site , and had a choice of games. All the same. You choose one of the three objects. And if it’s a winner , you win. I chose the canoe race. I chose number 2 10 times, never won. Number 3 always won. Chose 3, 2 won. The odds were not one in three. I won nothing after using all my game plays

Day 55 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I am starting to see a plethora of sticky notes and messages appearing all over the house. I know it takes a while for me to register new habits, and my memory not as sharp as it once was, but I am seeing these all over the place…mine is an addendum to an instruction for unscrewing a pipe under the sink

Day 56 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

there was a time when 50 grams of chocolate was just a nickel. Now you buy chocolate bars for 20$! Would you buy?

 

Day 57 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2017 Edition

Thanks Facebook for wasting 10 years of my life today. The little outputs are well documented in this video montage

Day 58 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Yes changed my calendar a couple of days late, and yes, I am an undergraduate fan of Iron Maiden. But the view from this photo each morning is not my happy way to start the day

Day 59 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (as I am sure I missed one somewhere)

Today’s bus ride home brought to you by the new Ottawa forced fellowship program, designed to pack as many introverts in a confined space as possible. I now know people in ways I could never have possibly imagined. Program designed to force people to stop using cellphones (no space to hold) and to literally feel connected together

It worked, I hurt, and I no longer want to take the bus

Day 60 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Got bemused when I saw a promotion for Diamond & Diamond lawyers that took the entire side of a bus.

Their motto: “Why suffer alone” with a photo of a man leering ‎sort of made me wonder, is suffering alone worse than suffering (and paying) for lawyers? Are lawyers really our best friends? And what about the phone number? Hurt? Yes, your pocket book if you call them.

Day 61 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Speaking of bus adds (yesterday) , just saw one for Comicon promoting Adam West and Brent Spiner, both canceled, and sadly advertising money spent . : (

Day 62 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (for yesterday)

Someone thinking that I would remember this technology left this on my desk. Note the “attractive” price for mid-1990s computing could buy you a half of a new car at that time.

Day 63 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (today)

Went out for a drive, and it is incredible to witness how the river is flooding everywhere. We have had so much rain over the last couple of weeks. We went to eat at Mongolian Village, and they serve us two fortune cookies. I opened both to get the exact some fortune as below….

Note: As of this posting, it is still raining

Day 64 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Squirrels are sort of an unofficial mascot for our team at work, so when I saw this post, was naturally intrigued. Flying Squirrel. Interesting name for a company. Then I saw the video and reflected a bit on it.

Love to see how this works with 2000 kids in here at once…going nuts and trying to emulate some of this stuff. Hope the squirrel has insurance…

Day 65 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Took 20 minutes to drive to hospital, took 25 minutes to find parking

Day 66 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

So glad to have tuned in to see the last goal of the game

The way the Sens are playing, I may need to eventually by my first team jersey #HabsFor2020StanleyCup

Day 67 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (for yesterday)

This was sort of an interesting photo, and not 100% sure what it is trying to tell me…do I get $300 if I park there with a disabled sticker on my car, or no parking for the disabled, or if I have a permit, I have to pay $300?

Day 68 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

A colleague offered me a part time share of his parking lot in Gatineau last week. The price made it very tempting for me to pick up on the deal, especially of late, as I have been taking the car more often to work. Today’s commute sealed the deal. I left home at 730 to arrive at the office at 915. I will not take my car to work any more than I have to . The bus is a guarantee 1 hour and I can read and listen to music

I will never complain about OC Transpo again (will see how long that promise lasts)

Day 69 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition.
Spent the day learning the fine art of being a school crossing guard. The job is much more nuanced than I thought, otherwise people think that you are too aggressive, like me, so it seems, in my yelling at people to get off the road. ; )

They really do not pay those guys nearly enough! lol

Day 70 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Day 2 of my comicon volunteer duties…I was manning the lines outside of room B. The schedule said that all of the celebrities were doing Q&A session in my room, but really they were in the main hall. I wish I had a dollar for every time I was asked the question if so and so was in my room, and I said no they are in the main hall #1.

Most common response back…”but it says HERE (points to schedule) that this is in room B” (almost as if I was lying or hearing this for the first ime). Better yet, the response of where is Main Hall 1? And I would point down the corridor and say, do you see the #1 sign? That is main hall 1.

Actually had a lot of fun…enjoyed doing that

Day 71 to 72 0f 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Deleted….
Day 73 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (for yesterday)
Comicon is now over. 42000 people stampeded through the halls of the EY centre. As they were getting autographs, listening to celebrities talk, getting photo ops, and shopping, I was standing in the rain.
The irony – I had a lot of fun on the outside looking in, and met some really great people and will look forward to the next time I do something like this (maybe from the inside in Montreal???)

Day 74 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I meant to post this shortly after my return from Cleveland. It has been a while since I last flew, and I thought it funny that Apple had a vending machine. Now all the major electronic stores have them. You can buy a $500 Boss headset in one of these machines. Have to admit, not really the first think I think about while flying.

But in the Ottawa airport, they sell BAGGAGE! I would hope people would actually buy luggage and pack before going to the airport!!

Day 75 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Any car radio experts in the house??

My car is less than 5 years old. I love listening to music, keeps me sane when I drive during rush hour or on any trips longer than 10 minutes.

My Toyota car radio Aux/CD button stopped working completely yesterday, so anything plugged into the deck won’t play. The button only turns on the CD if there is one in there.

Cant drive with what is played on the radio, so need my tunes! Is this a quick fix or do I need to replace the deck? If so where do I do this (car radio stores seem to be a thing of the past…)

btw: who designs a deck like this? The radio buttons are cut into the dashboard! How on earth do you elegantly replace the original radio? Most decks are rectangular!

 

Day 76 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

How on earth does a hubcap just disappear from one’s car? They don’t evaporate, do they?

Day 77 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

What is the point of showering when the buses don’t turn on the air conditioning?

 Day 78 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

A friend once described my job as the Purple Monkey Dishwasher expert. The expression was born out of the Simpson’s episode in the video below. How does it translate to me? I am often communicating in the middle. Developer comes to me and says there is a problem. I prepare documentation to pass to another team that prepares another document to be dispatched to a central agency. That agency sometimes does not know which team to dispatch the document, it goes back to the team that originally prepared that submitting document, they don’t know the answer and comes to me. I answer, then the process is repeated, except this time the dispatcher prepares a few additional documents for different teams. Each team has similar yet different questions, so the documents retrace the steps back to me at different times for answer. I answer the same question several times. Goes back around and this time the documents arrive at the people making the fixes to the problem. They don’t know how, so it comes back to me. I dont know the answer so I ask the developer who gives me the instructions how to fix the problem (he could not do it, the others have to), so I send the revised instructions back through the pipe to get the job done.

5 minute fix takes two weeks. Today was the end of such process.

Day 79 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition (for yesterday)

Spent over an hour trying to get across the Île aux Tourtes Bridge in Montreal. The bridge was built in 1966, and seems to always need construction. This is typical of Montreal.

Irony, there was only 1 lane that was closed, and the traffic backed for over 5 km

Day 80 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I was concerned about my return ride from Montreal, based on yesterday. And the Île aux Tourtes Bridge had the same lane reductions, but I flew across. Have no idea what was different between the two trips.

I looked up online that Montreal decided to do all its construction during the long holiday weekend, perfect for any tourist who may want to take a quick trip to the city, or travellers going to the cottage for the first time of the season.

http://montreal.ctvnews.ca/long-weekend-lots-of-construction-1.3420655

Day 81 of 💯 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Watched a recent Iron Maiden show filmed in Dublin. Singer Bruce Dickinson said at one point “blithering idiots, now running the world, with their fingers on the nuclear button”, and when he points to flags showing where fans have come from, there are people from as far afield as Japan and Argentina. “We don’t care where you come from or what you do in your spare time. If you come to an Iron Maiden show, you’re family.”

Who would have thought that in such crazy times a grizzly old rock band in bullet belts singing about demons, warfare, apocalypse and mass murder would emerge as a beacon of unity, peace, love and understanding? God (or the other fella) bless them.

Day 82 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Went to work despite feeling ill, only to have, on the way home, a truck take out the power lines at the entrance for the OCTranspo Transitway, causing havoc for most commuters…and later, I decide to go to the walk in clinic to see a doctor only to find out the clinics were closing an hour early (read between the lines, Senators hockey pre-empts health care)

Went home and sucked on a throat lozenge

Day 83 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Software for the lighting system was really wonky. The lights were going on and off all over the building randomly. I had a meeting in a dark meeting room, and I flipped the light switch to turn on the lights, and then the emergency alarm went off!

I felt sheepish, but it was a perfectly timed coincidence with a planned evacuation drill (I am talking the evacuating the building, not evacuating people).

Day 84 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

With all the fuss about the Sens not selling out playoff games, I am seeing a lot of prime seats that are empty in Pittsburgh..FOR A GAME 7!

Day 85 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Ever sit in on a teleconference when you have laryngitis, say something profound, and there is a big empty pause cause no one has a clue what you are saying? That was my day…

Day 86 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition
Laryngitis continues but did try to get some fresh air on this glorious day. Figured I would mow the lawn, as that was what all the denizen were doing, and figured they would be too engaged in their yard work to want to talk to each other. Wifey, though, sees someone on the street and starts to talk with them. I am forty feet away gassing up the mower and she yells at me a question related to their conversation…she looked momentarily puzzled when I did not reply…

Day 87 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

New Conservative Leader, Andrew Sheer, chooses a fiddle cover of “We Are the Champions” as a victory song …find that ironic if you know anything about Freddie Mercury and Andrew Sheer’s values.

btw: also found this ironic…and I don’t even know the man yet! Are my Twitter posts really THAT offensive to a new Conservative leader ; )

Day 88 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Seems to be missing….

Day 89 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

So excited to get my Hydro bill. I believe this is the first time I am getting a Hydro rebate, courtesy of the Wynne government! I wonder which of my friend’s grandchildren will make up the difference in payment?

Day 90 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Colleagues thought I was suffering from laryngitis still today. I thought I was talking in my natural speaking voice…

Day 91 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

This city has serious commuter issues. Buses are expensive and overcrowded. Not many people carpool. People do not know how to drive or are very patient drivers. And parking costs you 15$ if you just step into the parking lot.

Telework is becoming an option. We are already not talking to each other because we are glued, face first to our devices. We will talk less to each other if we don’t go into the office!

Day 92 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Going to my first gig in a long long time tonight (Brass Monkey at 10 pm). I thought that what I wore at work was appropriate (black golf shirt and cream pants) Wifey said no

So jeans and Iron Maiden t-shirt are now on

Day 93 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I won’t make a political commentary about US withdrawing from Paris accord. I won’t, in fact, make any generalizations about the notion of how the right looks inward and self, and the left look outward to others. What I will say is this:

Clean coal is like dry water…

Day 94 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Driving home from the gig last night, recalled playing in band 15 years ago. After each show, we would go and have a fast food feast at a hamburger joint. I had that itch last night for fast food and it came out of the blue. I had not thought about that tradition. Yet It was so installed in me, I scratched that itch and went to McDonald’s.

The experience was not what I remembered 15 years ago. And as my body is older, my experiences today relate more to evacuation than satisfaction (if you do the understand what I am saying, look up what it means to evacuate a person, as opposed to a building)

Day 95 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2017 Edition

Classic parking. Suppose to go between the lines! And parking on the median probably not a bright idea just outside the beer store! Perception is everything!

Silver lining, did not take two parking spots for his precious car, like most jerks do

Day 96 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Since when does eating out for a breakfast cost as much, or more as a lunch? I always got that drinks and appetizers have incredibly huge markups, but isn’t anything sacred anymore. Too much for me! Going to sulk as I munch on some Rice Krispies.

Day 97 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Last Wednesday, I saw this on my neighbours driveway. It took me a while to figure it out, but it seems like a failed experiment to build an aircraft from a BBQ and a dryer (dryer in front).

Note: garbage collection was not on Friday past, but this coming Friday, so I have had a full 10 days to appreciate this fine creation

Day 98 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I am getting tired of paying huge cable bills each month. I really only watch one channel, the one I call stupid (CNN), for about 15 minutes a day as the panelists on it who yell at each other usually help wake me up and motivate me to turn off the TV and go to work.  I am bemused by the CRTC less than 25$/month cable legislation. If I were to go with that option, I get maybe 10 functional channels which contain nothing but rubbish and commercials, and if I want to subscribe to the stupid channel, that would cost me 7$ a month! If I want more stupid channels (like Fox News, CNBC), I could get them all bundled for 10! No sports at the 25$ level. If I want Sports Net and TSN, I would have to pay 18$/month extra, which puts me in my current tier. Cable boxes are extra!  I am thinking cable will shortly be gone in my near future…

Day 99 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

I am all for bilingual signs, it is a way I have always improved my French vocabulary. in fact, it is mandatory in my office. Saw this sign hanging in the bathroom today. I may be wrong, but it seems like the French instructions are a little different than the English, and seems to be missing a vital step…

Day 100 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2017 Edition

Well, year three has come and gone, and despite my posts, there was a lot of cool things going down in my life. I volunteered at Comicon, I am having a lot of fun with a great work band (and great bandmates!). This spring has brought about a certain life renewal, despite feeling sick since daylight savings time. I have reconnected with some old friends, and am trying to relearn how to make new ones (yes, it is a forgotten art).

My posts, have to admit, are a bit like American TV…stretched way beyond their shelf life. So need a new and creative way to use Facebook as a communication tool. Maybe in a month I will start posting my next 100 Day series, like Day 1 of 100 Days of Trump; or Day 1 of 100 Days of Kitty pictures.

And yet, with all these tools for communication at our disposal, it sometimes feels like we communicate less, in a weird way. I have oodles of friends on Facebook, of which 10% are pretty active (and always enjoy chatting with them). But I have noted a decline in use since the American election. I guess people are just getting fed up and dissatisfied of arguing or reading posts about how great is the “other side” and how horrific is your side. Despite that, thanks for sticking it through folks, and thanks all for reading. Hope it was deeply satisfying.

If you want to read the previous 2 years posts, or listen to a few of my 100 days of guitar riffs, visit my http://dissatisfiedbruce.com site. I may get back into blogging my frustrations again in the near future.

I do plan to post this year’s 100 Days of Dissatisfaction soon. Will let you know when it goes online.

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How to Win Friends and Influence People – on Facebook

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!Leave a comment

I am the king of Facebook friends!  I have a whopping 154! Down from over 250 five years ago! I am THE poster child for Facebook popularity. My general rule of thumb on Facebook is that if we have met and get along, you can join the Bruce Gordon dissatisfaction show. If we have not met, follow me on Twitter. It is a simple rule I follow, and this rule evolved over time as I refined my definition of what is a Facebook friend.  I have contacts on Facebook, btw, that have thousands of friends, and I wonder how many beers have they drunk with one of them over the year.

Truth be told, the title of Dale Carnegie’s book, that I unscrupulously stole, is something that is very difficult to do in our current social media world. In fact, his adage, “If You Want to Gather Honey, Don’t Kick Over the Beehive”, could apply to Facebook, but I get the feeling, in some cases, that the beehive has not only been kicked over, it has been pummelled, punched, sat on, and lit on fire.  Not much honey to be had.  Pity.

Where moms use to say “if you have nothing nice to say, do not say it”, social media encourages freedom of speech, even if it is not sensitive. It seems that self-control in our social interactions has been replaced with anger talk, or people taking up the flag of certain social and political positions.  There is a sense of entitlement to speak one’s mind. Social media is moving more and more away from a friendship tool and becoming a tool for activism, debate, and hate speech. It is also becoming a news source, which is proving unreliable and biased.

The end result, what social media promised to be a fun way to reconnect with old friends, is now creating deeper divides as we forget more and more how we interact in person with people. Should Facebook be more a reflection of our offline interactions?

And I am the as guilty as anyone in terms of expressing my thoughts too freely.  It starts innocently with posts that solicit a laugh, specifically, the “Too Much Information” posts. Humour around bodily functions, sexual parts or activity, or the noise one makes when they eat a boiled egg, is actually the start down a slippery slope.  Some of us remember that we were instructed never to talk about “sex, religion, and politics” in mixed company. Sometimes we drop those barriers when we are in trusted company. Social Media is always mixed company, unless you invest a lot of time in controlling who sees what.

Ever unfriended someone in real life?  How about on Facebook? How are they different? If you have been unfriended, how does that feel? Facebook unfriending can be surprising, unexpected, and offers no solid reason. In my case, it is easy to understand and guess why.  Here are the top reasons why I lost many Facebook friends:

  1. Natural distance. They were people  I did not know well to begin with, and we did not have any social media interaction.
  2. Leaving a community – where the people do not engage socially with others outside of the context of the community
  3. By association. Divorce couples unfriend common friends. If my spouse or close friend unfriends a mutual friend, then by association  I may get unfriended.
  4. My posts offend someone and they do not want to bother discussing them
  5. Politics.

Politics, lately, has been the main source of division.  There are no longer debates over political ideologies. Rather, they are put-downs of people who have belief in the other side.  Last provincial election, the Liberals should have been voted out of office, there was a lot of corruption (still is). The amount of conservative propaganda that was bombing my timeline was unreal!  I did not mind the propaganda that hilited the Liberal corruptions. What I did mind were the insults hurled not only at the corrupt Liberal party, but also Liberal supporters. “Lib-tard” became a fashionable, and offensive expression.  There are others. I posted my Liberal propaganda, not because I wanted to influence a vote. I was just being obnoxious. Result – lost some conservative friends.

Now comes the Trump world. More than any in recent memory, this past US election has had a spiritual impact sent rippling through society and impacting people’s lives. This simply isn’t like a victory of Republicans over the Democrats, or vice-versa. Let’s be clear again about what happened. The Americans elected as its president a person who aroused evil fears of racial bigotry to gain political power, who blamed and demonized vulnerable immigrants, who displayed the most vulgar behaviors toward women, who expressed wholesale mistrust toward Muslims, who tried to criminalize his opponent, who attacked the functioning of the free press, who dismissed threats to the planet’s sustainability, who promised to wall America off from outsiders, and who pledged to protect the economic security of the nation’s most wealthy, even while shielding his own wealth from public accountability by not disclosing taxes. This, not to mention, suspicions of collusion with Russia.

I am now seeing, in Canada, conservatives posting more hate speech than ever. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind good political satire, especially when warranted. What I despise are people who show little respect for others, even in a heated political forum. Debate your point with respect, not by insulting or promoting fear.  I have not unfriended often, but I have when people posted something that hateful or promote values that may be hateful or hurtful to someone.  Vocal association with Trump risks that.  This is really challenging for people I know who tend to be right-wing. They have no choice as their political values are now tightly linked to a man who is promoting hatred and evil.

If I were a conservative, I would be crying.  I always pitied the US for having such poor choice of candidates for this past election. Since his election, have you noticed that Trump is arousing the emotions negatively of our content EVERY DAY!  That does not unite. That divides. All we see on the news, (and I won’t get into the fake news commentary), is Trump. There is no escape from this person who promotes hatred more than I have ever seen. The only way I escape it is by shutting everything off and reading a good non-political book.

Fake news or real. It does not matter. Damage is being done.

I have no problem accepting people with different political ideologies as me. I actually can learn and grow from differences of opinion and I think that is healthy. I enjoyed the debate between Ted Cruz and Bernie Sanders on health care in the US. It was clear which side of the fence they stood on, and they presented their case and rebuttals well. It was a reasonably intelligent discussion, from which one can make a choice of ideology. These discussions CAN happen.

I am challenged by this Trump phenomena and dealing with those who ally with Trump ideology.  Trump has not shown any good so far. In fact, he has shown nothing but evil, and I am seeing that type of approach entering Canada, which concerns me.

Can relationships on Facebook even be a possibility with all this activism? I think so if we learn to behave,  but I think culturally we are not going in that direction.  The more we promote evil by associating with Trump openly and the further we are promoting fear and hatred in Facebook commentary, the more we divide ourselves and lose sight of any good.

I believe there is a spiritual need for mankind to connect with one another and build relationships. It is a shame that politics has now created a space of deep rooted anger and hatred, only enhanced from a social media perspective. Walls are being built as people with identical ideologies are coming together, and anything different remains on the outside. There is little choice for some. It may be the only way to keep social media stress free. Sad case. In a world where we are overly scheduled, tools like Facebook sometimes remind us we are not alone.

I am always looking to make real connections with people. I use Facebook as a tool to do that. Facebook helps, but in person connections are more meaningful as memories are built together. Relationships can be fostered on Facebook to encourage the bridge to in person contact. Just got to apply the in person rules we had been given in the pre-facebook world.

2016-dis-bruce

100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

On By Bruce GordonIn 100 Days Series, Dissatisfied post!Leave a comment

After 100 days of being dissatisfied last year, I am starting off a 2016 edition, so if you unfollow me, please be sure to re-follow in September.

Day 1 of 100 days of dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Got a promotion YAY! Got my first pay check, and according to our new Phoenix system (all you public servants know what this is..and it has been in the news), I got demoted, BOO!

Day 2 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Wifey made my FAVORITE cupcakes (lemon). I was looking forward to the four left for me when I left for work today. When I go home, there were just two.

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Day 3 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

So, I was craving poutine for some reason today.

I went out to discover the place closest to my office serving poutine just closed down. Bit of a shame, it was a Portuguese restaurant, and it had great spicy fries and chicken. The next closest place that sells poutine is a Greek restaurant. Another option is a nearby Italian one. A third is a Lebanese one. I work in Gatineau. Do you think there would be French Canadian one, like La Belle Province, near my office???

Day 4 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

In my hometown of TMR (Montreal) today, saw a real cool BMW M6. I do not know much about BMWs, but I do know a 100K+ car when I see one. I pulled alongside it, and saw a teenage boy texting in it while running through a stop sign turning left.

Question, if you owned a car like that, would you let your teen drive it? Also, if you have that kind of money, why not buy your son his own car to wreck, and maybe in the Volkswagon family?

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Day 4 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Why on earth on Mother’s Day is Axl Rose the top trend on Facebook? Ya, I get he performed for the first time with ACDC, but at the very least FB, trend something that a mother would be proud of!!!

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Day 5 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

You all know about my passion for grocery shopping, these young ladies in the distance wearing white paper hats and blue shirts were really making a lot of noise, disturbing my peaceful bliss.

I quickly understood what all the excitement was about. The man on the left was a butcher talking about the fine art of butchery. I felt sad for the future of these young girls if this is exciting for them.

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Day 6 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition.

I like interesting and unique beers and how they are packaged. But having Tom Green on any label would kill anyone’s desire to live, let alone the desire to slake one’s thirst with a pint of ale.

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Day 7 of 100 days of dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition.

Woke up at 145 this morning, so went to the gym early. That is OK, going to the gym early is a good thing. But gentlemen, two things. Bowel movements should be done at home before leaving and not for the locker room. Also, showers are not the place to blow your nose and hork. The gym is a public facility, not a kennel.

Day 8 of 100 days of dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

About to embark on a three day weekend! Could not ask for a better spring day today! Weekend weather forecast? Rain!

Day 9 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Getting the house ready for painting next week, and forgot how many cool LPs we had hidden away in a bureau! Lots of Rush, Beatles, Floyd! Really cool and maybe worth something now that they are coming back in vogue…then I went through the pile to discover some “hidden treasures”. What the ….???

Day 10 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Ever been at a Comicon with the hoards of people swarming around to buy trinkets and shirts from many fun TV programs? I never felt so confused in my life! I did not get why so many people want to spend a lot of money to stand in line all day (and Ottawans do odd things!)…and yet I left with some pretty fun memories!

Day 11 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Quiet Sunday morning reflecting a bit about what I saw at Comicon yesterday. One of the hilites was to sit in on a Q&A session with Billy Dee Williams. He defined “cool” in the 70s and 80s. That was where my memories were of him. When I saw him come on stage as an 80 year old, heavier, and slowed by age, sobering reality of time flying in life kicked in. He was great, btw, but clearly had the effects of age and lack of recall (could not remember his own web site,billydeewilliams.com). On an additional note, the other panelists I saw, John De Lancie (68), Rene Auberjonois (75…though he always looked 75), and john rhys-davies, who I will see today (72) have also aged. Life does go by fast, but the Cons do give these actors something to do in retirement.

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Day 12 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

The say socks disappear mysteriously. Well not only socks disappear for me, but I have been plagued by my rebellious slippers who decide to walk away from me and hide all the time! They only started doing this to me a couple of months ago….and today, I cannot find them at all!

Day 13 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition
I am a huge Tarantino fan. I have not yet seen the Hateful Eight and am hoping to take it out from the library. Our library is really good. You can normally place a hold on an item on the internet, and when it becomes available, you get notified and you can pick it up. Unfortunately, for this movie there are no holds available. Basically it is first come first server. I saw as I was leaving my home to do an errand that it was available at the library, so I zoomed to try to pick it up, only to find out it was taken out three minutes prior to my arrival!!

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Day 14 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2016 Edition
Grateful to Rogers for forcing me to learn a new way to count to five and simplifying their on demand service

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Day 15 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Found this…LCC classmates should remember these IDs. All I have to say is Really? #tbt

Day 16 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Spring is in the air!! And, like 90% of Ottawa, I decided to take the day off to get a head start on everyone in the garden. Very grateful to Home Hardware that they had an express checkout!

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Day 17 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

In the early 90s, Jurassic Park was one if the scariest (and fun) movies I saw up to that time. Tonight I saw Jurassic World. Meh…Barney is more interesting

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Day 18 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Love how stores dumb things down for the consumer. I never once have seen a “Mr. Prickly” attack my grass, nor see the need to do anything to ward off a sock puppet attack on my lawn.

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Day 19 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

One sure fire sign of spring, cars start to migrate from the driveways to the streets. Makes for better pedestrian experience and gives kids options to play on the driveway/streets instead of the park which is unused and is just around the block.

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Day 20 of 200 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016

I have always liked Pink Floyd, but embarrassed to admit that I have never listened to anything they had written prior to their album Meddle.

I listened to the first four and stopped after Ummagumma, and have to say, this is not the Pink Floyd I knew and was quite confused. Ummagumma allowed each band member to write one song each, which is a cool idea. David Gilmour said of his song that he just “bullsh**ted his way through it”, and it sounds like it, then you get Roger Waters’ contribution. Glad to say that drugs had nothing to do with the recording of this song:

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict (but it blended well with the denizen of the suburbs!)

Day 21 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Turned on Netflix and saw that someone hacked my account…
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Day 22 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

After hearing a bunch of yappy children, was relieved to find that the perfect clubhouse was on sale at the Home Hardware. Comes with exterior padlock.

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Day 23 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Solicitors and canvassers who ring my doorbell when I am trying to unwind at the end of a long day is a nuisance, especially when I have a sign that clearly says no solicitors. I wonder if a more explicit sign is in order.

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Day 24 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Went to the gym twice today. First time, this morning, when I left I said goodbye to the girl behind the counter, she said ‘have a nice day’ in a dismissive way with fake smike and resumed her discussion with her friends, which is in line with @goodlife policy as most of their staff are like that. This afternoon, I walked in and said hello to a different girl behind the desk. Instead of saying hello back, she said abruptly “we close in an hour”. After my workout I weighed myself. And I gained a pound. I love fitness!!

Day 25 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Lawn mowing seems a lot faster than it used to. Either I am getting faster and better, or I simply don’t care. The fact that the grass is brown and I can’t tell what is cut or not does not help.

 

Day 26 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Heard this morning that a remake of Roots starts to air tonight on A&E. I was too young to appreciate the original, but knew it had a huge buzz and am interested in the story. I tried to program my PVR, and thanks to some unknown technical issue, it took nearly a half hour to program all 4 episodes. Did not realize that Roger’s PVRs required a reboot after setting each episode. Nice feature.

Day 27 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Do not click on unknown YouTube links sent by mischievous friends first thing in the morning. Can cause ill effects for your whole day

Day 28 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Looking to do competitive bike racing? Look no further!!

The city of Gatineau ran their annual “Grand Prix Cycliste Gatineau” road race today starting at 5 pm. Perfectly timed to promote the sport during a Thursday rush hour, so all the public servants who are going to and from home can stare at the bikers for half hour while they sit on their buses (which cannot move because the police are blocking the streets).

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Day 29 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

So, I watched American Horror Story Season 2 – Asylum a few weeks ago (and the asylum was run by nuns). It was pretty intense, but what is freaking me out the most is not the horror, but the song (Dominique nic nic) that was played throughout the series for the patients. WORLD’S WORST EAR WORM EVER!!! When I think it is out my system, I would have to meet with an “Anik” or “Dominic” Nic Nic. I am going Nic Nic crazy! I caught my self singing Nic NIc in the office on a few occasions, and when I did, a French colleague (from France), almost dropped dead. She said, “Do you realize what you are singing”, I said “No”. She explained it to me. In France, “nic” is the equivalent of a very crass word for fornicate. Who knew a song sung by nuns could be so crass.

 

Day 30 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

If I was not already disillusioned with religion, watching 3 preliminary UFC fights tonight did not help. Two victors gave “glory to God”. Maybe I am ignorant, but I did not realize that Jesus blesses some folk to kick the crap out of people, or I don’t understand how giving someone a concussion would be honouring to a loving God…

 

Day 31 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I am increasingly amazed that whenever I see a show, there will always be 1 or 2 British actors on them that seem to be anywhere, like Jim Broadbent. Well, Jim was not on Game of Thrones tonight (or ever, but there are still two seasons), but tonight, I saw Percy from the Black Adder. It did not have the same “zing” without the Lord Flashheart

Day 32 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 edition

Based on the anchors, looks like a news show for children. And announced one day after canceling Canada AM. Can’t imagine Ben as a news personality. Partially cause he has none. As always, well done Bell! The “Your Morning” team…

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Day 33 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Worked through lunch to leave work earlier today. Left work early, but busses schedule determined by a spin of a wheel. Got home later than normal

 

Day 34 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

As always, OCTranspo continues to improve ways to confuse ridership. Bus fares will be the same for everyone, and getting around town will be obfuscated by “colour” choices. I will have to come up with rhymes like “if the bus lines are blue, the suburbs are for you”.

My future ride will likely change from bus – bus to bus-bus-train-bus! Yay. Visions for a future over 3-hour commute!

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Day 35 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Ever have those days where you look for a bit of peace and sanctuary after work? I was sort of hoping to get that on my way home. I cranked the first Iron Maiden album almost full blast to go to my happy place. Listened to the first few bars of the first song, then the music was replaced by woman talking very loudly on a cell phone ALL THE WAY HOME. Peace ruined. Now sulking in the basement

 

Day 36 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I had to stand up on the bus today. Everyone who was sitting around me seemed completely oblivious as they stared fixated at their zombie-making cellular devices. I try to ignore this daily ritual, but could not help but notice a sharply dressed man (in a suit) in his late 50s texting “I will be home soon muffin”….awe, very cute. When I got off a bus, a young teenaged girl ran to a young teenaged boy saying “HEY F#@$face”, and proceeded to give him a hug. Times have changed.

Day 37 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I am all for supporting small businesses. My heart breaks when I see the small guy trying to make a living get crunched by a big corporation. I usually pay with Visa, mostly for convenience and point collecting. When a small business requests we pay with cash, I will honour that as I know they have to pay surcharge and lose a bit on the profit (which for small business, does have impact).

Walmart, however, today announced it will no longer accept Visa, purely as a financial decision – despite Visa giving them the lowest possible rates. Visa is the largest credit card in Canada, and not everyone can pay with cash all the time.

When this comes in to effect after July 18, I plan to continue shopping at Walmart, ensuring my cart is filled with hundreds of “dollar store” valued items from different sections of the store, and when asked to pay cash, say, sorry, cant do it, and leave my cart at the cashier.

Any joiners?

Walmart to stop accepting Visa cards in Canada

Day 38 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

We have a new voyeur in the neighbourhood, who lives across the road (we also have BBQ family who sit and stare at our home all summer in our backyard). We call him “Sir Woofsalot”. Every time I step out of the house, I see him spying on us through the window (do a close up of the image, he is to the right)….then he starts to bark non stop. He is a cute dog, but wow, he complains a lot

Day 39 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Bus service randomly skipping buses this day. Took 1.5 hours to get to my doctor’s office from work, only to find out that the nurse “forgot” to tell me last week that my weekly shots have been changed to every two weeks. Also asked if I could come earlier than normal next week…

Day 40 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I am all for smart use of guns. Military and police officers need them. Hunting. Farmers, etc. In the USA, I can list off many mass killings, but I am struggling to remember one being averted by a responsible, law abiding, gun-owning citizen. The answer is simple.USA should give guns to all its citizens in order to change that.

Day 41 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Dropped off my car at the dealership for servicing. I proceeded to walk away to hit the gym. Few blocks down, out of the corner of my eye I saw a technician whizzing around in my car like he’s going for a joyride and zooms right by me, then speeds around a corner. Then I got the bill later…

Day 42 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I really like children, especially with a bit of ketchup and mustard. I am amazed how one small toddler requires 2 to 3 seats on a crowded bus. I am even more amazed that we have such strict laws for car seats for older children, and nothing equivalent for buses where kids stand on seats, do pirouette, and jump on a bus that is normally very difficult to safely stand on for adults

Day 43 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition (for yesterday)

I am not an aggressive driver, but I don’t like being slowed down and will cruise the left lane on highways to pass people or to go to point A to point B faster.

If you own a Vespa, NEVER ride the left lane on any highway or roadway, you will always get in the way. Vespa claims these bikes can go up to 59 MPH, but no sane person would ride them that fast, and frankly, 40 KMH likely their top speed in optimal conditions. I don’t get their appeal…you never see James Bond riding a Vespa.

To the Vespa driver who cruised the 417 in the left lane yesterday, THANK YOU for ensuring the safety of your fellow commuters by slowing traffic down to a crawl.

Day 44 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition (again for yesterday)

I said this before, I collect President’s Choice points. Each week, I get an email promoting the special offers telling me which foods I can buy to get points for.

If you get a lot of points, you get free groceries. Simple.. The offers, though, are typically received a day after I buy huge quantities of those products, making the offer useless to me as the offer expires each week.

Yesterday, I finally got an offer I can use – for peanut butter. I went to the store and they were sold out. At this rate, I will have enough points to claim a 20$ discount by the time I retire.

Day 45 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Tornado warning in Kanata…but we live in Narnia, where we get a bit of lightning, lots of sunshine, and no rain

Day 46 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I appreciate working dogs. While waiting for a bus, listening to my tunes, a seeing eye dog brushed by my leg accompanied by a blind man with a white cane. The man did not seem to realize that his dog came in contact with me, and he smiled as he continued to walk to the front of the bus line. I noticed as he walked by that he was wearing wireless bluetooth headphones.

My first thought, isn’t that dangerous for a blind man to remove his ability to hear around him?

Day 47 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Had an offsite 3 hour marathon meeting this afternoon, and, because I was in meetings all morning, I did not have a single cup of coffee, so I got one during a break in the afternoon.

Ever get confronted with a snack in the cafeteria that you remember having as a kid, then suddenly, out of a burst of nostalgia, you start to crave it. Today, it was Fig Newtons, and I bought a pack of 4. The first bite took me to a state of nostalgic bliss. The second made me think, “Who eats this crap”?

Day 48 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Working in a Linux shop the last few years has given me a solid appreciation for the operating system. Buying a Mac a couple of years ago gave me an appreciation for a nice, simple to use, a family computer that is a great user experience.

Not being an uber Mac user, doing a simple task of finding files embedded in the OS and copying them to a flash drive is not too straightforward. Windows allows me to drag and drop files from one Window to another

What do I do? On my mac, I open a terminal session and use Linux commands to do what would have taken me less time in Windows.

Day 49 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

BestBuy sends out emails for specials they are offering. Today announced the arrival of a product I actually have been waiting for a long time. Wireless Bose noise cancelling headphones.

Bose noise cancelling headphones really are superior technology, and if anyone has ever taken a ride on OCTranspo would know, you cannot hear your music with Apple ear buds, even when cranked full blast. In fact, while you are unable to hear your songs, because of the volume, the passenger sitting next to you gets to enjoy the music exactly the way you do, that of digital gobbledygook. Misery loves company!

My criticism with Bose noise canceling headphones is the cost and the 10 feet of cord they give you with it. Cord management is a challenge on a crowded bus. Today, finally, BestBuy announce Bose WIRELESS noise canceling headphones. AND on special! I have been waiting for this! I am stoked!

$450

Great “special”. No way. I would lose them in a week, or they’d be stolen. Back to listening to gibberish

Bose Quietcomfort QC35 Headphones Overview – Best Buy Canada

Day 50 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Due to some wackiness of Facebook, I think I discovered why I am talking to the air! I wasn’t posting to my “friends”, it seems that I was posting to a very small subset (like 15) people. Who knows how long this has been going on for!

What is odd is that no one seemed to notice!

Day 51 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

CFL kicked off for Ottawa last night. It was one of those “games of a century” featuring a Redblacks 55 yard field goal to tie the game on the last play of the fourth quarter, and featured new Redblacks QB, Trevor Harris, who completed a 71 yard bomb in his first pass of the game and was near perfect while leading team to victory in OT (if you saw Harris’ stats last year with Toronto, you wonder why he is not starting).

I forgot the game was on and was watching YouTube videos of cats before going to bed.

Day 52 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Thank you OCTranspo for giving me a tour of Western Kanata, though I did not really see anything new as I have lived here for 17 years and I reside (and you were suppose to go to) SOUTHERN Kanata

Day 53 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

That moment when you think “retail therapy” is joining the dollar shave club

Day 54 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Very upset about the Subban for Weber deal. One of the worst deals the Habs have ever made (and they have made a lot, and yes, Weber is talented).

Very upset that the Oilers traded Taylor Hall in an incredibly one-sided deal. I know they need a defenceman, but that is a huge price.

Proof again why pro hockey franchises do not do well in Canada.

Why the P.K. Subban trade may be the worst in Canadiens history
http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/nhl/p-k-subban-trade-may-worst-canadiens-history/

Day 55 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Skateboarding is cool. Lots of cool stunts you can do. If you skateboard, please don’t do it on a busy sidewalk that is laced with pedestrians – especially if you are in your forties. You may run into a few people, and you end up moving slower than the walkers.

Day 56 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 edition

It is 8am, isn’t it a little early to have the music cranking for Canada Day? The only event listed in my neighbourhood at this time is a senior’s breakfast at the nearby retirement home. I did not realize they like to shovel pancakes in their mouths with the cadence of a bass drum at a steady 120 beats per minute.

Day 57 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I see big headlines for the NHL free agency frenzy. Over 600 million dollars paid for 100 players. Sounds like a bargain (not)! Especially as there are no Gretzky’s or Lemieux’s in this mix.

I don’t get it. Ottawa did not get any free agent deals, and Edmonton got rid of one of their young talents. Montreal is rolling the dice on a Russian player who has had attitude problems (the “reason” for dumping their star Subban). Seems like a lot of teams are spending too much money, or bringing players through a revolving door, and are not really doing anything to improve their situations.

NHL will continue to be boring.

Day 58 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

There is a bit of running gag in my family that I cannot complete reading any Edward Rutherfurd book. I have started Sarum three times, but never completed it. It is not that I did not like the book (what I read was really good!), but it just seemed to take me too long to get through that I put it down and forgot about it.I am determined to finish reading at some point in my lifetime, and this morning was looking at the cost for this older book on Kobo (and Amazon). Seems like the eBook version is more expensive than the paperback version!! It seems this is common for a lot of books!!How is this possible? e-books are cheaper to produce and have a wider reach than paper-based equivalents? Guess will have to go “old school” on this one!Footnote and coincidentally: Looks like I was reflecting on another ebook issue a few years ago!

Day 59 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Survived Canada Day! Yay! But it seems like everyone at the office has spontaneously evaporated! Where on earth is everyone, and why am I not there???

Day 60 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

This is a good one. I went to the doctor to follow up on some regular blood work this morning. He asked how were things, and I mentioned my ears were itchy. He poked around my ear and saw there was a wax blockage, so he suggested we remove the blockage via his magical water syringe. I have had this done before, and was hoping to get relief. Left ear done. No problem. Right ear a fight. Now my ear is totally blocked and I can’t hear out of it. Have to go back to do more syringe work on Friday.

Day 61 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

For Star Trek’s 50th anniversary, Netflix is showing all Star Trek series for first time on Netflix Canada. Be nice to see some of the ones I have missed. That must mean nearly 600 hours of TV to watch. What are the odds I will watch all before Netflix takes them off the air?

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Day 62 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction 2016 Edition

Ever get to that stage in the office where the microwaves get so dirty that no one dares even goes into the kitchen? Ours did, and a brave soul posted some signs to express displeasure (yack)

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Day 63 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

That moment you crave ribs from a special restaurant that you enjoy going to for lunch…and you arrive to discover that they have new summer hours and do not open until dinner. Then you realize your only restaurant option is vegetarian…

Day 64 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

New rule: If you are going to pay be credit card at the grocery store, do not cash in your PC points. Credit card will fail.

Day 65 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

It started with one, then two, now dozens of miniature condoms litter my desk. Who knew they reproduced!

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Day 66 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Twitter is my social media platform of choice. I use a Blackberry. The Twitter app for Blackberry has not been upgraded in three years! What is frustrating is that I like to express my dissatisfaction by retweeting a story and make a snide remark.

Twitter for the Blackberry does not let me do that. For that matter, it does not tell me when other people retweet and comment on my tweets.

Come on Blackberry! Get in the NOW! (Don’t get me started on the Facebook app!)

Day 67 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

New neighbour moves in in May. Rogers technician connected our home to theirs in order for them to have internet access. Nice having an above ground cable wire connecting the homes that can double as a skipping rope. They came back to properly feed the wire underground to their house.

Now I no longer have internet or telephone in our home. Oddly enough, cable works.

Day 68 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I have been pledging myself to go the gym daily when I get up first thing in the morning for over a year and half now. At what point should I just give up? I have never been a morning person, never will. Can’t even do the gym late at night, my only other option. (I am now able to go once or twice on weekdays).

Day 69 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Does anyone know what planet Youppi is from? Or what species or sex it is? Hard to believe this is a Montreal icon and Youppi gets free entrance to Habs and Expos games. I guess as it was the original Expos mascot, youppi may have been the offspring of “La Grande Orange” ( Expos great Rusty Staub). Not sure if Rusty was that furry. Only “logical” conclusion I can think of.

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Day 70 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Freaking Pokemon!! got run over by a Pokemoner in the stairwell at work…then someone else found one in my office

Day 71 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I applaud this person’s effort remind fellow parking lot users to be sure to park between the lines. This parking lot is at a grocery store that shares the lot with a local church. As most offenders usually drive newer or more expensive cars, which per capita seems to represent church parkers, I wonder if this was written this Sunday morning. After all, the car that was currently parked there was parked perfectly, it was afternoon, and I saw the owner come out of the store.

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Day 72 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

American logic sometimes confuses every value I was raised on. Senator Cotton at the Republican Convention said “we don’t go to war because we HATE our enemies, we go to war because we LOVE our country”. I wonder if I can apply that statement in my daily life. For example, “I burned down my neighbours fence not because I HATE it, it is ugly, and is leaning dangerously into my property, but because I LOVE my property, and so should everyone else.

Day 73 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Watching a few minutes of the convention cause I need some help falling asleep. Does anyone else find it ironic that Melania is saying that Donald has “loyalty and perseverance”? SHE IS HIS THIRD WIFE!!!

Day 74 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

This what Rogers calls “power outage in your area”

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Day 75 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Some prankster thought it was a funny joke to put a mirror behind my monitors in my office as I was in meetings for most of the day. Made me jump out of my skin…but does make for an interesting selfie shot…especially cause my ugly head is not in it.

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Day 76 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

I get my allergy shots bi-weekly at my Doctor’s office. I usually go Monday nights after work.

This Monday, I went and saw a sign saying the office was closed for summer hours. Noted that the summer hours has the office open late on Tuesday until 8 pm

On Tuesday, I wen to the Doctor’s office at 6 pm. I was told that the nurse who gives the shots leaves at 5 pm, so I should arrive around before 5 pm. Noted that the summer hours has the office open until 5 pm Wednesday.

On Wednesday, I went to the Doctor’s office at 4:30 pm. The WHOLE OFFICE WAS CLOSED. Noted that the summer hours has the office open from 8:30am – 8:00pm on Thursday.

On Thursday, I went to the Doctor’s office at 830 am. I was greeted by a sign that said that there was no doctor’s available, so shots could not be given until 1 pm and sorry for the inconvenience, but we are open. I was going to blow a gasket, so I went in to the waiting area, and no lights were on and there was another sign that said that there was a staff meeting, and the office was going to be open at 9:30 am. Missed my last bus, had to drive to work, had to leave work early, to finally get my shot at 4 pm yesterday.

I noted the nurse left after giving me the shot at 4:05 pm. I would have  missed her if I showed up at 5..

Day 77 of 100 Days if Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Watched Deadpool on Apple TV a while back. Figured I would see what Apple would suggest I watch tonight. I think there is a problem with their algorithm. based on these recommendations! They probably would recommend I watch Snow White and the Seven Dwarves because I watched The Hateful Eight too!

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Day 78 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Ghostbusters

Day 79 of 100 – Days of Dissatisfaction

Checked out the updates on my Blackberry today. Facebook and Twitter were two apps being updated, both of which were ready for some serious upgrade. Installed both. Twitter functions identically as before. Facebook now launches a Web browser which loads the Facebook home page….

Day 80 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Looking to start getting back into guitar, Facebook recommends this for me…

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Day 81 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Zellers exists in Ottawa, it seems. But this Zellers is not the one I remember. You know, the one that would give Value Village some good competition. No, this one is a “high end” Zellers. It sells Ralph Loren, Tommy Hilfinger, and stinky stuff to make you smell pretty. Makes me wonder where you can buy quality low-cost clothing.

I have nothing against Value Village, but find it ironic that a thrift store is one of the most popular stores in our well-to-do suburb.

Day 82 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 edition

All the denizen were out shopping at 830 tonight. The StupidStore was packed! In the line up a woman wearing what looked like pyjamas (the ponies on the pants gives it away) broke open a box of Cheerios, and started to grab large handfuls and shoveled them in her mouth, before paying for them. I know she was dressed for breakfast, but wouldn’t the cereal taste better with milk?

Day 83 of 100 Days of Datisfaction

Have you ever worked on a project that seems to have no end, no planning, changing direction, fixed deadlines, and the whole thing may be canned in the near future? This seems to be a recurring theme in my professional life. Lucky for me, I am flexible. I am sure all those that have worked with me (either professionally, socially, or voluntarily) in the past can vouch for that! And no, I don’t mean flexible as in yoga. I have the suppleness of a telephone pole. : )

Day 84 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Raised in Montreal, there was lots to be proud about in that city. The Habs, great venue for fashion and culture, restaurants, Expos, shows, cool buildings and overall style. Things seem to be drifting a bit since I left. Habs, suck. Expos, gone. And now this is the best thing that has come out of the city in near a decade. Who knew this is an art form AND a sport.
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Quebec’s Jazzy Alix wins elite North American Pole Dance Championship

Day 85 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition.
No matter where we go, we are blitzed with advertising. Impossible to hide from, but isn’t anything sacred anymore? Found a new place (at Landmark Theatres watching Star Trek Beyond) to insert an add. If anything, it helps my aim. (Side note: wonder how much it would cost to line the inside of their toilet bowls with a quick promo for dissatisfiedbruce.com)

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Day 86 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Helping a neighbour on the corner of the street as they have been trying to give away their carpets free for a week now. THIS IS A GREAT OFFER! If you are interested, help yourself! Sadly, the free pizza was not a strong enough draw.

Come soon, it will only be around for another week, as that is when the garbage men will come to pick it up.

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Day 87 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction -2016 Edition

Taking the city bus from the armpit of Kanata to Gatineau that run on Sunday schedules on Monday. Why does Quebec have to be so different?

Day 88 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Sadly reminded today that this disaster is 18 years old this month

Day 88.5 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Who watches this nonsense? Come on networks, if you want real ratings, drop #BachelorInParadise and start the series #MILFIsland (execs need to listen to Tina Fey of #30rock)

Day 89 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction- 2016 Edition

Shutting three lanes down to 1 and a flashing red traffic light to support construction just out of my office is really improving the infrastructure Gatineau. I get in the bus at the blue dot and take it to Terasse Dr la Chaidiere towards the top of the map. The red lines are showing stand still traffic. The bus ride usually takes 5 minutes for a 2 km ride. Today, a half hour, which is slightly worse than the 20 minutes Monday and Tuesday. Note photo this pm. About the same as this am. Glad I am not driving. Photo credit Paul-Emile Gaudet Note that apart from Queensway, all is fluid…

 

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Day 90 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

HHHHOTTTT! and no, I am not talking my looks. In fact, I think I sweated more in my office than I did outside! There was absolutely no air flow!

Day 91 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

(for yesterday) Construction continues in Gatineau.. Bus stop had to be moved from outside my office. Not knowing where the temporary stop was, I walked to the the previous stop (about a 1km walk, so no real big deal). I got on the bus to find that the temporary stop was in fact just across the road from my office, with the signage on the BACK of the construction sign. I guess everyone is suffering from budget cuts, but duct tape and paper quite innovative.

Day 92 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Another garbage day on a Saturday. A great to enjoy the warm air, smell the fresh rotting meat, and inhale some flies. I happen to live on a circular street, and people drive on it like a NASCAR oval. We have friendly neighbourhood junk collectors who drive slowly up and down the streets looking at other people’s crap. I heard a large bang outside my front door and heard glass shatter. It seems like a Dale Ernhardt crashed into junk collector who decoded to stop to look at the curb. Blocked my driveway for a half hour.p photo credit#voyeurbruce

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Day 93 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

First day of new exercise routine and I overslept, and only exercised for 5 minutes. Read the ‘perfect’ songs to wake up to list, by psych. PhD candidate David Greenberg. Cant say I agree. I would turn these songs off and trash my music player, then go back to bed.

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Day 94 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

If you ever want to understand fully what it is like to drive in the city of Ottawa, go grocery shopping. Everyone in the centre of the lane moving very slowly with no room to pass.

Day 95 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

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Please people, coat hooks are not meant for toilet paper. People can get hurt reaching that high.

Day 96 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Proof positive that the American elections are just too long…when a comment comes back as a Facebook memory a year later

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Day 97 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Why isn’t the Octagon an Olympic sport? They have BMX biking and golf. I mean, what next? Pantomime horse racing?

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Day 98 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition

Was talking to Cait about books and am still amazed how digital editions of books are more expensive than paper. They are also harder to share with friends as security is injected in the electronic copy. Great purchase for people who don’t like to share.

Day 99 of 100 Days of Dissatisfaction – 2016 Edition
Went to a store. Since when does colouring books cost $30? No wonder parents are bankrupt! BTW they are free on Internet

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DAY 100 OF 100 DAYS OF DISSATISFACTION – 2016 Edition

To most of your chagrin, another year has come to an end! With so much to be dissatisfied for, this year was in fact easier than last year.

The last day is going to be hard to be dissatisfied, it is Wifey’s birthday (Cait Gordon), so drop her a line and send her some warm fuzzies! Love ya bunches babe and have a great day of doing Cait-like things.

With this years coming to an end, I have to say, if I am dissatisfied with is it the amount of time I spend on social media posting dissatisfied posts! The point of the posts is a reminder to the time when social media was a sharing of what is going on in one’s life, and not simply a meme generator.

So, instead, I will bring all these posts together, and stick them on the dissatisfiedbruce.com web site so you can enjoy for all time to come. From there, you will see postings of things that irk me (as well as here on facebook too)

Thanks for reading!

What is Up with Yogurt?

On By Bruce GordonIn Dissatisfied post!Leave a comment

Growing up, I could not drink milk. The smell, and the taste, really made me wretch. Ever seen a group of kids when one throws up, they all do? That would be me that started that chain, and it usually would happen when the free milk was distributed!  I was not quite as weak stomached as Wendell Borton from the Simpsons, but pretty close!

Wendell
Wendell Borton, the kid no one wanted to be near because everything made him sick

Kids and adults do need their calcium. I loved milk products, but not milk in itself. Put in chocolate syrup in my milk, and poof, I would be able to drink it. Loved the cream of ice cream too!  I recall the first bit of advice my doctor gave me was that I HAD to drink milk straight up.  No chocolate, no fruity cereal mixed, just straight in a glass. In most cases I would try to obediently suck up my discomfort, but every time I was encouraged by my parents or teachers to drink milk straight up, I would just regurgitate the whole thing.  I could not even take the smell of milk! To this day, it promotes a gag reflex.

The only thing that helped my calcium depleted body was cheese, ice cream, and yogurt.

I want to be pretty clear about this, the yogurt with the fruit on the bottom back in the day was not that appealing.  The yogurt on the top was extremely sour. You had to work hard to get at the fruit, and the fruit at the bottom did not resemble anything like fruit.  It tasted more like a chemical afterthought. Getting to the fruit was a non-worthwhile fight, having to drill through the horrible smelling congealed mess on the top.

The choice was also limiting. You had about five flavours – strawberry, raspberry, blueberry, peach, and plain. The  fruit on bottom yogurt “reigned supreme” in stores.  There was a claim that it was healthy, but no one admitted to liking this yogurt. Very few kids had it packed in their lunch boxes. The smell of this was ungodly on its own, never mind combined with peanut butter sandwiches. Any health benefits would be sustained if you were able to keep the stuff down, a very difficult feat for most. But in the late 70s, yogurt got a new twist and became a bit more trendy.

The French sold stirred yogourt for some time. Yoplait had been around for a while, and as the French were always recognized for “haute cuisine” and refined food culture, Americans jumped over the opportunity to market the heck out of this.  Yoplait had a huge advertising campaign hiring various big name celebrities eating their yogurt.  I recalled really being impressed by Tommy Lasorda, the manager for the LA Dodgers at the time, sounding so fluent in French.

One actor, Judd Hirsch from the hit show Taxi, despised yogurt, and Yoplait stirred yogurt at the time was not really very good. It tasted very watery and had a bad aftertaste.  It was a step up from the fruit on bottom types, but it was still a bit of an acquired tasted.  Judd had to do several takes, each time gagging up the yogurt, before finally perfecting the commercial below. You will notice how he takes very little of the yogurt in comparison to Lasorda.

Judd Hirsch

Tommy Lasorda

 

Loretta Swit from Mash

Thankfully, companies like Dannon and Delisle around the same time started to produce stirred yogurt.  To me, Yoplait was what yogurt tastes like if it was made with water instead of milk.  At least Delisle had a creamy texture that was an upgrade. The sweetness, the fruit, and the creaminess, made the yogurt  much more palatable, and in fact  was addictive. I ate the stuff by the boat loads.

I am not sure exactly when yogurt became a fad, but I am guessing something started to happen in the 90s.  Yogurt really stopped tasting like yogurt and I questioned if it really was yogurt anymore.

Society became crazed about “fat free” foods. Frozen yogurt suddenly started filling the ice cream section as a lower fat option.  Though some brands truly did offer an ice-creamified version of yogurt for the true yogurt die-hards, others crafted the flavour to broaden the market. Ever eat chocolate frozen yogurt? Tastes just like a fudgicle. Vanilla frozen yogurt tasted like a creamer vanilla ice cream. My wifey and I were so totally shocked when we first tried it, that we had to put it to the test on someone who despised yogurt. Just so happened that my mother-in-law, who was raised in the days when yogurt tasted like something spawned by the devil, was a good candidate. She hated yogurt so much that the thought of eating it made her gag. We were so convinced that she would not know the difference, that we served her vanilla frozen yogurt as ice cream.  She ate it, and she could not stop singing its praises. As she ate it, she went on and on about how creamy and tasty this ice cream was, and asking where we got it. Then wifey told her it was yogurt,  she stopped dead in her tracks, as if she was struck by a slege-hammer.  She enjoyed it, but I don’t think she ever bought it for herself (the wounds of 60s yogurts lie deep, after all). In hindsight, that was not a very nice experiment, but it did demonstrate a point.

The 90s introduced Yogen-Fruz to accelerate the frozen yogurt trend.  It gave you the option of choosing combinations of fruit and blending them in an ice-creamy treat.  They difference they offered from stores was the variety of flavours. You can now have melon and pineapple in your yogurt. You can bury it in sprinkles and whipped cream. This was not the yogurt I remember as a youth – but it was good!  Yogurt found a niche – it was all about the cream and sugar, not this hardened congealed thing I grew up with.

Healthy?
Can this truly be yogurt? Is this a healthy alternative to a bag of chips?

A friend, who despised yogurt in the 80s, told me once that yogurt was Latin for “’I’m hungry and there’s nothing else in the fridge”. With the advent of frozen yogurt, not only were we actively buying and snacking on the stuff, but we were starting to see new variations enter the marketplace. The French were no longer trendy in the yogurt world. After all, Yoplait had nothing on Yogen Fruz.  The cream was what was selling the stuff. Liberte, a Canadian company, introduced “Mediterranean” style. They took the queue from frozen yogurt, made a product that was full of fattening yogurt-styled cream, and did some cool combinations of fruit, like peach and passion, and orange and mango. Even traditional fruits, like strawberry, tasted much better in this creamy brand. They also perfected adding coffee to yogurt. It was also easier to stir up this fruit on bottom yogurt. The cream at the top was soft and rich and edible on its own. Since the French stirred yogurts were originally intended for desserts, Liberte introduced dessert yogurts. You could get Apple a la mode, and orange and marzipan flavours.

The 90s also tried to promote this dessert food as healthy. Throw in probiotic cultures, and poof you are doing your body good.  The non-fat variants were lacking in texture, but offered an option for those that preferred non-fat and heavily chemically injected tastes to the natural options. Variety packs of yogurts became the norm, which was a shame if you liked only one flavour. If there was a four pack. You would get three different fruit yogurts and one vanilla. Side note, I often thought adding one vanilla yogurt was a brilliant cost cutting means of selling yogurt. The trendy yogurts were more expensive. The non-fat crap was always cheap.

Then about five years ago, the Greeks were making a dive into yogurt making. Honestly, the only connection I made with Greek food and yogurt was tzatziki sauce (which is awesome). Though tzatziki is yogurt based, it was far removed from the fruit-based yogurt I knew. The Greek yogurts became a rage. To my taste, they are a little less creamier than the Mediterranean version I knew.  I found it interesting that despite the economic chaos that was happening in Greece during that time, which also had ripple effects around the world, the Greeks suddenly perfected the creamy yogurt with 12 grams of protein per pack. Sad truth, the Americans were the marketing brains behind this recipe, and they did not give any kickbacks to Greece for branding rights.  Greek yogurt made up to 50% of yogurt sales in the US in 2014, which translates to over three billion dollars in revenue. The Greeks did not see any of that money…

The supermarkets are now flooded with yogurts. In my local store, an entire aisle is now dedicated to yogurt. I even saw an “Icelandic” yogurt. I have no idea what is special about Icelandic yogurt, maybe they add some fish in it.  You can buy yogurt with various granolas, or seeds, and watch your calorie count go from 100 to 600.

yogurt aisle.
My local grocery store. You have more choice of yogurt than you do of anything else.

Icelandic yogurt
What makes Iceland special in the yogurt world?

And in our current political climate, we have French yogurt, we have Mediterranean and Greek yogurts, and Icelandic versions, when will we get a truly American version?  The US is one of the biggest yogurt producers in the world. They even bought out Yoplait.  Can you imagine what an American yogurt would be like? It probably loves guns, kicks ass, and takes pride in political ignorance (especially in comparison with countries where yogurt originated). One thing I could imagine, if an American-styled yogurt came out, there may be a ban on all imported yogurts from the middle east (unless heavily vetted).  Bye bye Liberte Mediterranean.

My question is, do people really love yogurt so much? If you had a choice between a bag of Doritos or a 125 ml container of yogurt, what would you naturally gravitate towards?

For me, seeing the craze worries me. We eat yogurt, we are using it to treat wounds and sunburns, and we are drinking it!  What is next fad? Yogurt cheese? Yogurt-based toothpaste?  I am all for the evolution of a product, but with so much variety of not just yogurt, but many products, decisions are much more complex than they once were. It is a reflexion of our culture, in a sense.  We have evolved from a binary “it is yogurt” or not, do variants of yogurts. Our time is becoming more and more consumed with thinking of different subtypes. It is ok once you find the subtype you like, but it can take a while.

To close, when I was first married, my wifey asked me to buy some ham. I asked her what type of ham she wanted. After all, there is black forest ham, smoked ham, Parisian ham, baked ham, canned ham, and the list goes on. Her response was, buy me “ham ham”.

I got the point. Yogurt is no different. There really is no such thing as “just yogurt” anymore. Like everything, with so many options, grocery shopping is more time killing exercise as we now have to focus in and silly things like multiple subvariants of products  that in their original state, we would not even like.